Fazbear Wars - Episode IV: A New Hope
by TheEzyGuy00
Summary: A FNAF version/Parody of Star Wars Episode IV. When the galaxy is in danger with the newly constructed Death Star, it's up to a ragtag group of farm boy, old hermit, and duo smugglers to save a sassy princess from the clutches of a half-witted cyborg bunny in black armor that's... not really a Sith Lord by standards. Rated T for profanity and idiocy
1. Prologue

**Okay, first off. I had this idea in my mind for a couple of weeks now and I decided to wrote it a few days ago. And now here it is, an FNAF version/parody of Star Wars. Hey, don't judge me! I'm a big fan of both franchise, and being an author here means I could write everything I want, whether you guys like it or not. But remember, Fanfiction is the site where people could express their hobby and imagination in a form of fanfic ^^**

 **And before I write this, it took me a considerable long time to planning everything out beforehand, character's role, parodies and such...and dang, it took way longer than I expected :T**

 **Also, you might be wondering why this isn't placed in the crossover section. Because, to be honest...noboy goes there, literally :/**

 **You don't have to be a fan of SW to understand this fic, every references and things that you might didn't know will be explained in the bottom author's note. So, now just sit back and relax while reading this fic. I can't promise much, but I can assure you that you'll enjoy this fic as much as I do when writing it ^-^**

 **Warning: This fic contains profanity (cuz it's FNAF), humor, violence, unnecessary scenes, and last but not least (and also obvious) made up parodies.**

 **Disclaimer: Five Nights at Freddy's (FNAF) and its characters belongs to Scott Cawthon**

 **Star Wars, its characters, and the whole franchise belongs to George Lucas...and** _ **Disney**_ **...**

 **All I did here was writing a parody... :3**

 **Enjoy!**

* * *

 _ **Opening crawl**_

 _FAZBEAR WARS_

 _._

 _._

 _._

 _EPISODE IV: A NEW HOPE_

 _It is a period of civil war. Rebel spaceships, striking from a hidden base, have won their first victory against the evil Galactic Empire._

 _During the battle, Rebel spies managed to steal secret plans to the Empire's ultimate weapon, the DEATH STAR, an armored space station with enough power to destroy an entire planet._

 _Pursued by the Empire's sinister agents, Princess Chica Organa races home aboard her starship, custodian of the stolen plans that can save her people and restore freedom to the galaxy..._

 _._

 _._

 _._

The scene shifts into the void silence of empty space, above the orbit of a desert planet known as Tatooine, where stars blinking at light years away and the twin suns shone the planet with its bright light, and two moons above the planet reflected the sunlight.

However, a CR90 Corvette suddenly flew across the screen with intense speed, firing its red turbolasers to its pursuer. And followed by a green turbolasers firing back onto the blockade runner.

Soon, a silver triangle-shaped capital ship, known as Imperial Star Destroyer, slowly revealed itself on the screen and giving the Corellian Corvette; named Tantive IV, a chase with equal speed.

The two ships was firing against each other, the large and bulky Star Destroyer fires its green turbolasers rather inaccurately to the blockade runner in the front of it, while Tantive IV's red turbolasers hit the Star Destroyer in many places at the front hull. But the lasers itself didn't do any damage or affect to the Imperial ship even a little, thanks to its deflector shield.

That's when the Star Destroyer's turbolasers gave the Tantive IV a critical hit, damaging the ship's engine as well as disabling the ship itself. Leaving it vulnerable in space, unable to move or whatsoever.

 **Meanwhile...**

Inside the Frigate, a golden protocol droid and a white and blue astromech droid by the name of C-3PO and R2-D2 was strolling through one of the white hallways of the Tantive IV's interior when a loud rumble shook the entire ship. Alarms blaring at the distance and Rebel soldiers of different anthropomorphic species rushed to defend the ship from boarding party.

Another rumble shook the ship, this time, worser than the first one. Followed by a low hum of a reactor being powered down, "Did you hear that?" C-3PO asked his astromech companion, who beeped in affirmative, "They shut down the main reactor, we'll be destroyed for sure! ... This is madness..."

R2 let out a few beeps and clicks as they walked past through the Rebel soldiers, who took their spots for cover on the hallway that leads to the hangar door.

"We're doomed." C-3PO frantically said, and R2 beeped in response, "There'll be no escape for the princess this time."

R2 whistled before a loud rumble was heard, inciting panic from the two droids.

"What's that?"

Meanwhile, the Rebel soldiers tilted their heads upwards at the resounding metal thud as the Star Destroyer boarded the frigate into their hangar. They shifted their attention to the door ahead of them, raising their blasters, preparing for the worse. They knew the Empire would send a boarding party anytime.

The door suddenly cut by laser cutters before it exploded, the soldiers squinted their eyes at the blinding light as well as some flying debris. Then white armored Stormtroopers of different species, signified by their animal ears sticking out from the hole their helmet provided, came from the doorway and shoots their blasters at the Rebels, who shoots back in return. Killing one of the white armored furries.

However, outnumbered and outgunned by the Stormtroopers didn't help the Rebels now as they quickly overwhelmed, their numbers decreasing instantly as the Stormtroopers pushed them back. The rest of the surviving Rebel soldiers decided that retreating is their best option now, they shoot a few shots ot the Stormtroopers before running back into the opposite direction.

C-3PO and R2-D2 exited from a room they were hiding, thinking that the fight was over, but boy they were wrong. They immediately found themselves caught between crossfire of Stormtroopers and Rebel soldiers. But they decided to walk past them, and surprisingly, unharmed by the laser bolts...thanks to the Hollywood logic..and a laser bolt barely missed the two droids as it blasted the door panel.

When the gunfight was over. The Stormtroopers at the first hallway was putting the bodies of their dead comrades and the Rebels aside to make a way for their leader to enter.

And as in cue, a tall, menacing figure with black suit and helmet entered the Frigate interior, inspecting the bodies before walked past them uncaringly with a few Stormtroopers followed him closely. He had a life-support panel strapped into his chest, as well as a lightsaber dangling on his belt, with two olive green bunny ears sticking out from his helmet. And what makes it looked disturbing is his right ear, or what's left of it, was cut off clean in half. His raspy mechanical breathing could send a chill down to everybody's spine upon hearing it, yet, he was the most feared bunny in the galaxy...

Darth Springtrap...

* * *

Meanwhile, somewhere else in the ship, C-3PO was searching for his companion, worrying that he might captured by the Empire.

"R2-D2, where are you? "He asked in a rather scolding tone, before finding the said droid in a room, safe and functional, with a yellow hen wearing white dress inserted something to the white and blue astromech droid. She looked at Threepio before running off somewhere.

"At last. Where have you been?"

Artoo beeped in response.

"They're heading in this direction, what are we going to do?" Threepio frantically inquired, "We'll be sent to Kessel spice mines or smashed into who knows what."

Artoo didn't reply, he instead went off to somewhere, "Wait a minute, where are you going?" The golden protocol droid then followed his astromech companion.

The yellow chicken, by the name of Princess Chica Organa, watched the whole conversation before walked away.

* * *

Meanwhile, on the other part of the ship. The rest of the Rebels surrendered themselves to the Empire, after seeing no point of fighting with them anymore, they were held prisoner along with some droids they brought in this ship.

And while they are doing that, Springtrap were currently holding a human Rebel Captain by his throat, choking the poor man and cutting off his air supply as the man struggled against Springtrap's strong grip.

Three Stormtroopers came approached the dark lord, "The Death Star plans are not in the main computer." One of them say.

Springtrap turned to face the Rebel Captain, "Where are those transmissions you intercepted?" He demanded in a raspy, deep mechanical voice. "What have you done with those plans?"

Springtrap lifted the Captain Antilles off from the ground, as he continued to gag and struggled for breath. "We intercepted no transmissions." The Captain managed to choke out, "This is a consular ship. We're on a..diplomatic mission."

"If this is a consular ship, where is the ambassador?"

Antilles didn't reply, as he breathed his last, strangled breath and fell limp by the dark lord's hand. Springtrap then tossed the Captain's body to the wall and slumped down to the floor, then turned to the Stormtroopers.

"Commander, tear this ship apart until you've found those plans! And bring me the passenger, I want them alive!" The cyborg rabbit barked, the Stormtroopers promptly obeyed his orders without any hesitation. Scrambled themselves to the other parts of the frigate.

Four of the white armored furries was busy inspecting every part of the ship for possible hiding place or secret room, while Princess Chica appeared from her hiding place and silently watching them unnoticed, a blaster pistol ready in her hand, waiting for them to get close enough for her to strike. But as one of them turned their head toward her direction, she promptly went back to her hiding, secretly hoping that they didn't see her.

"There's one, set for stun." The leader told his fellow Stormtroopers.

But before they could shoot any bolt at her, Chica already shoots first, killing one of them. Taking the momentary chance, she wasted to time and ran away from the scene. Unfortunately, a Stormtrooper managed to shot her with a stun bolt before she could escape, the yellow chicken fell to the ground, unconscious, but still alive.

"She'll be alright." The leader said as other Stormtroopers scrambled to lift her limp body, "Inform Lord Springtrap that we have a prisoner."

* * *

"Hey, you're not permitted in there, it's restricted." Threepio told his astromech companion, who was struggling to get himself into one of the escape pods. "You'll be deactivated for sure."

Artoo went to access a panel to open the door, beeping in response as he went inside the pod.

"Don't call me a mindless philosopher, you overweight slob of grease. Now come out before somebody sees you."

Artoo turned his head to face Threepio, letting out a few series of beeps and clicks.

"Secret weapons? What plans?" Threepio questioned, "What are you talking about? I'm not getting in there."

A blaster bolt suddenly hit the wall next to him, barely missing his metallic body. Having no other choice, the protocol droid decided to enter the escape pod with Artoo. "I'm going to regret this..."

The door closed as soon as Threepio entered, then the escape pod launched into the space shortly after.

* * *

"There goes another one." An Imperial gunner stated, aiming his turret to the escape pod.

"Hold your fire." The human officer ordered, inspecting the scanner on the control panel, "There's no life-forms. It must have short-circuited."

The gunner hesitated, but obeyed nonetheless.

* * *

"That's funny. The damage doesn't look as bad from out here." Threepio said. Watching themselves heading away from the Star Destroyer.

Artoo beeped in response, and one could tell that the astromech droid says "You don't say" to reply Threepio's obvious statement.

The two then faced each other, "Are you sure this thing is safe?"

"Yes! - I mean, bleep-bloop-twart..."

 **Meanwhile, back at Tantive IV...**

Four Stormtroopers escorted a grumpy-looking (and recently sober) Princess Chica through the hallway of the ship, though she totter a bit because of the stun bolt (also resulting in some of her feathers sticking out of places), the chicken princess didn't even bothered to complain and continue walking.

Until Springtrap suddenly appears from one of the doorway and stops her in mid-way.

"Darth Springtrap, only you could be the biggest dick the galaxy has ever known." Chica told the Dark Lord sternly, trying to keep herself remained calm. "The Imperial Senate will not stand still for this. When they heard that you've attacked a diplomatic ship and raided my room for playboy-"

"Don't act so surprised, Your Highness." Springtrap cut her off, secretly hiding a bunch of playboy magazine that he recently stole from Chica's room behind his cape. If one could see through his helmet, you can see the Sith Bunny frantically sweating and dreaded if the Princess discovered his-... Eh, other intention coming here aside from searching the Death Star plans. "You weren't on any mercy mission this time. Several transmission were beamed to this ship by rebel spies. I want to know what happen to the plans they sent you."

The Princess frowned, and pretended to looked confused. "I don't know what the _fuck_ you're talking about." She replied, "I'm a member of the _shitty_ Imperial senate on a diplomatic mission to Alderaan."

"You are part of the Rebel Alliance and a _fuckin'_ traitor!" Springtrap retorted. "Take her away!"

But before she can be taken away by the white-armored furries, Chica took one last glance at Springtrap, narrowing her magenta eyes that clearly flashing with anger. And gave the Dark Lord her middle finger, despite having her hands cuffed, she managed to do so, and a smug smile formed on her beak.

"What the-"

Springtrap tried his best to hold back his anger, but if it wasn't the officer accompanying him started a conversation, he could've brandished his lightsaber and cut the Princess' middle finger off out of anger.

"Holding her is dangerous." The human officer started, then the two began walking the opposite direction where the Stormtroopers took Chica away. "If word of this gets out, it could generate sympathy for the rebellion in the senate."

"I have traced the rebel spies to her." Springtrap calmly replied, "Oh, and you there." The Dark Lord pointed to a Stormtrooper with midnight purple bunny ears sticking out from his helmet.

"U-uh, yes milord?" The Stormtrooper replied, halting his steps to give a salute to his leader.

"Here," Springtrap handed the Stormtrooper a bunch of playboy magazines he hid behind his black cape. Which, the rabbit flinched a bit in response. "take this to my personal chamber in the Star Destroyer, and make sure it was delivered safely."

"U-uh..." The Stormtrooper glanced at the playboy magazines on his arms, then at Springtrap. "...o-of course milord."

"Good." Springtrap nodded, watching the Stormtrooper walked away from them. "Where was I? ... Oh yes. I have traced the rebel spies to her. Now she is my only link to finding their secret base."

"She'll die before she'll tell you anything."

"Leave that to me." Springtrap replied, "Send a distress signal, and then inform the senate that all aboard were killed."

A dark yellow furred bear Imperial officer came approached the two. "Lord Springtrap, the Death Star plans are not aboard this ship, and no transmission were made." The officer told the Dark Lord, "An escape pod was jettisoned during the fighting, but no life-forms were aboard."

"She must have hidden the plans in the escape pod. Send a detachment down to retrieve them. See to it personally, Commander." Springtrap ordered, "There'll be no one to stop us this time."

"Yes sir."

* * *

 **So how's that? Good? Bad? Or need some more humor? Well, let me know about it by giving it a review!**

 **I'll try to make more parodies in the next chapter, and to be honest, I wasn't truly excited for this chapter, it just felt...too serious, and the main theme of it is actually Parody. So, hence if there isn't any enough humor in it; I barely got a spare time to write this... :/**

 **And yes, I made Chica to like pissing Springtrap off. Because...imagine how funny it is when seeing the Dark Lord got pissed by a badass Princess? :D**


	2. Droids & Moisture Farmers

**A/N I'm really excited for this! Sorry for the long wait, but here's chapter 2! :D**

A HUGE (by I mean huge is...well, huge...) brown and rusted sandcrawler strolled through the desert of Tatooine, heading toward the direction where a local moisture farmer resides. It's V69 engine let out a mighty - and crackled - roar as it sped away at the speed of exactly 1 mile per hour, and stopped right in the front a moisture farmer residence.

The Jawas (y'know...that tiny creature with brown cloak and glowing eyes? Spoke with gibberish accent and squeaks? ...well, nevermind then) stepped out from their giant-ass sandcrawler with the droids they scavenged throughout their journey (that includes Artoo and Threepio, who somehow gotten lost in the desert and captured by the Jawas) and lined up the bots in the front of their proud vehicle.

Two figures stepped out from the stone igloo-like house, one is an elder brown rabbit with light brown moisture farmer tunic, while the other is a young, purple rabbit with a white tunic.

 **(Hey dummy, yes you: the cameraman. Could you zoom the screen to those bunnies please? Alright, a bit to the left... there we go, not a bad job Phil.)**

The two rabbits approached the Jawa, who spoke in gibberish squeaks and pointed to the droids they lined up. The elder rabbit nodded, as if he understood what the creature had said. "Alright, fine. Let's go." The brown rabbit said, gesturing to the purple bunny beside him to follow him.

"Bonnie!" A female voice called from the distance, The purple rabbit turned his head to where the voice originated, "Bonnie!"

Bonnie promptly headed toward a large dug up hole where a moisture harvester stuck out from the ground about 10 feet tall located, and an elder chicken with navy blue tunic told him; "Bonnie, make sure to remind your uncle if he got a translator, be sure it speaks Bocce."

"Doesn't look like we have much of a choice, but I'll remind him." Bonnie replied, heading back to his uncle Owen, who was busy inspecting the droids he is about to buy.

"Yeah, we'll take the red one." Owen said to the Jawas, who replied with their gibberish accent, "Which one? Of course that one you little piece of dumbshit! For fuck's sake, wonder how you all could treat these droids so well with that tiny brain of yours..."

The Jawa led the elder rabbit past another droids.

"No, not that one. Not that one either. Nah, we don't need a mansturbating arm droid. Stripper droid?- what are you trying to sell to me?"

Owen stopped in the front of a golden protocol droid he came across, "You, I suppose you're programmed for etiquette and protocol."

Threepio's head perked upon hearing this. "Protocol? It's my primary function, sir jack-o-rabbit. I am well-versed in all the customs-..."

"I have no need for a protocol droid." Owen stated coldly, putting his paws on his hips before walking away.

"Of course you haven't sir." Threepio said before Owen could leave, "Not in an enviroment such as this. That's why I have been programmed-"

"I need a droid who understands the binary language of moisture vaporators." Owen interverned.

Threepio's head perked at this, "Vaporators? Sir, my first job was programming binary load filters. Very similar to your vaporators in most respects."

Owen hrmmm'd. Alright, this droid seems convincing... "Can you speak Bocce?" He asked, trying to make sure this protocol droid fits his needs.

"Of course. It's like a second language."

The rabbit pursed his lips. "Alright, shut up, we'll take this one." He turned to the Jawas.

"Shutting up, sir."

"Bon!" Owen called, and the purple rabbit immediately approach him. "Take these two to the garage. I want them cleaned up before dinner."

"But I was gonna go to-"

"Hush, shut up. You can waste your time with your friends once your chores are finished." Owen cut him off, "Now come on. Get to it."

Bonnie sighed, then looked at Threepio. "Alright, come on." He motioned the protocol droid to follow, "And the red one. Come on."

But the aforementioned droid didn't move, "C'mon red, let's go."

As the R2 unit moved, Artoo flinched, trying to move. No, it couldn't be like this! He couldn't be separated from Threepio! Not this way or anyhow...

But before the trio could enter the house, the red R2 unit exploded! And smoke poured out from its head... "Uncle Owen!" Bonnie whined, approaching the smoking droid.

"Yeah?"

"This R2 unit has a bad motivator. Look!" He pointed to the droid.

"You said it quite a few times, Bonnie." Owen replied while checking Artoo, shaking his head disapprovingly. "Remember the last time you said it?"

"Err, kinda..."

 **Flashback a few weeks ago...**

Bonnie angrily stomped through the hallway, and to his room where he usually relaxed and watched TV or played video games. Darnit, he couldn't find that R2 unit anywhere! He still had lots of chores to do and that droid was much less than a help!

Besides, he also needed some help with the one of the vaporators anyway...

"Ah-ha!" He jumped into the room, and found the droid right on the exact spot he predicted. Laying on his comfortable couch, with oil cans sprawled all over the floor, and using its mechanical hand to hold the TV remote and flicking through the channels! "What are you doing here? You're supposed to be outside, taking care of the vaporators!"

The R2 unit simply shrugged him off, then went back to the TV. " _Can't. Too lazy..._ " It replied in its motone robotic voice.

Bonnie sighed, putting his paws to his hips. "But it's your job..."

The droid took a moment to glance at Bonnie, before turning back to the TV. " _No. Too hot outside._ "

The purple rabbit groaned, poking his head to the hallway from the doorway. "Uncle Owen! This droid has a bad motivator!"

 **Another Flashback...**

 _Crap, crap, crap!_ Bonnie thought as he rushed outside, ascending the stairs as fast as he could. _Uncle Owen's gonna kill me if he finds that protocol droid stepped on his cactus plant! Darnit, why did he put it near one of the vaporators?- Oh, right, I forgot I put it there when Aunt Beru was cleaning the backyard..._

"Bonnie! Be careful!" Aunt Beru told him, frowning. "What's the hurry for?"

"Oh, err... I forgot that I left something outside! And my favorite show gonna start in any moment now!" He lied, chuckling nervously. "Besides, I'm free for today right?"

Beru simply shook her head. "Be careful!"

"I will Aunt Beru!"

When he reached outside, he found something much worse than having Uncle Owen's cactus plant being squashed...

The gray protocol droid they bought a few days ago somehow caved its head into the vaporator that it was programming... Steam blew out from the hole and the protocol droid itself seemed to be malfunctioning, and by the time Bonnie checked it out. The droid suffered from heatstroke and nearly melted its internals, so instead of returning back to house, its system must've fried and made it to think otherwise and decided to cave his head to the vaporators to cool itself off...

 _Gah, Uncle Owen's gonna rip me from limb to limb when he find (finds) that..._ Bonnie thought fearfully, biting his lip and turned to the garage where his uncle in. _Better find an excuse!_

"Uncle Owen! This droid has a bad motivator! Look!"

...

"...O-ooh... Heh, I vaguely remember any of that..."

"Ahem," Threepio tapped Bonnie's shoulder a bit, "Excuse me sir, but that R2 unit is in prime condition, real bargain."

This made Artoo wriggling from side to side, perhaps because of the fact that these farmers were gonna buy him and he'll be reunited with Threepio once more, "Uncle Owen, how about that one?" Bonnie pointed to Artoo.

Owen turned to the Jawas, "Alright, we'll take the blue one."

"Oh, and take this one away..." Bonnie told the Jawas, waving the smoke away from the broken R2 unit in the front of him as they took it away.

"You'll be pleased with that one, sir. He really is in first-class condition, I've worked with him before." Threepio said as Artoo made his way to the duo.

"Mrmm... Okay, let's go."

...

"Thank the maker, this oil bath is going to feel so good. I've got such a bad case of dust contamination, I can barely move." Threepio said as the ramp lowered him into a container of warm oil.

In the meantime, Bonnie was playing with his T-16 toy a little bit, before sighing and putting the toy down on a nearby table to continue the rest of his work. "It just isn't fair. Biggs is right, I'm never gonna get out of here!" He whined as he took some tools to clean up Artoo.

"Is there anything I might do to help?" Threepio asked.

"No, unless you can alter time, speed up the harvest or teleport me off this rock." Bonnie replied as he started to work on Artoo, "And... maybe make Uncle Owen to stop complaining about how the internet provider blocked his crappy porn web."

"I don't think so, sir. I'm only a droid and not very knowledgable about such thing." Threepio said, "Not on this planet anyway. As a matter of fact, I'm not even sure which planet I'm on."

"Well, if there's a bright center on the universe. You're on a planet that was once got too close and got scorched, then went away to the farthest side of it to cool down. Which failed miserably." Bonnie explained, only to confuse Threepio, "I mean that, you're on the planet that it's farthest from."

"Ah, I see sir."

Bonnie got up to grab some more tools, "You can call me Bonnie."

"I see, sir Bonnie."

"Just Bonnie, okay?"

Threepio nodded, "Right, just Bonnie."

Bonnie chuckled as he made his way back to Artoo amd (and) began to clean him up, "And I am C-3PO, human-"

"...Cyborg relations, yeah, I know." The rabbit finished, "I've read yours and this R2's manual the Jawas gave us, but it annoyed Uncle Owen because he gotta pay a bit more credits for that - like, 4 credits. Considering how cheapskate of a guy he is..."

"Ah... And this is my counterpart, R2-D2."

"Hello." Bonnie waved to the astromech droid, "You got a lot of carbon scoring here, looks like you both have seen a lot of action."

"With all we've been through, sometimes I'm amazed we're in as good condition as we are. What with the Rebellion and all." Threepio said.

Bonnie gasped a little and nearly dropped his tools as soon as the word "Rebellion" reached his ears, he immediately stood up to face the golden protocol droid. "You know the rebellion against the Empire?!"

"That's how we came to be in your service, if you take my meaning, sir."

"Have you been in many battles?" The rabbit asked again, seemed to be interested in the newfound subject.

"Several, I think. There's not much to tell, I'm not much more than interpreter and not very good at telling stories." Threepio answered, "Well, not making them interesting, anyway."

Bonnie sighed, ears lowered... Then went back to cleaning Artoo, "Well, my little friend..." He grunted a little, trying to remove something that stuck on the blue and white astromech droid, "you got something jammed here real good- Whoah!" He recoiled and stumbled as a hologram message began to play from Artoo, showing a young chicken in dress.

"... _Help me, Goldie-Wan Kenobi, you're my only hope. No, wait, that sounds pathetic... But eh, it'll do_ " She said, before her finger reached an invisible button and the message re-played again.

"What's this?" Bonnie asked, intrigued, "Sounds like a chick is desperate for help... Like in those movies!"

Artoo bleeped in response, " "What is what"? He asked you a question dumbass, what is _that?_ " Threepio told the astromech droid.

"... _Help me, Goldie-Wan Kenobi, you're my only hope._ " The message replayed, and it continued like that for a few times.

"He said it's nothing, sir. Merely a malfunction." The protocol droid assured, "Old data. Pay it no mind."

Bonnie got up into a sitting position, eyes still pinpointed to the hologram, "Who is she? She's hot... Are we gonna go on an adventure and save her or something?"

"I'm afraid only the writer knows it."

"What writer?"

"Nevermind."

"But uh... To answer your first question, I'm afraid I'm not quite sure sir. I think she was stowaway- I mean, passenger on our last voyage." Threepio explained, "A person of some importance, I believe. Our Captain was..."

"Is there anymore of this recording?" Bonnie asked, unintentionally cutting off the protocol droid.

"Um, well..." Threepio approached the astromech droid, "Now behave yourself Artoo. You're going to get us into trouble." Artoo bleeped, "Nah, no worries... This jack-rabbit is our new master, you can trust him."

Artoo let out a few beeps, and Threepio nodded in understanding. "He says he's the property of Goldie-Wan Kenobi, a resident of these parts, and it's a private message for him." He translated, "Frankly sir, I don't know what crap she's talking about. Our last master was Captain Antilles, until that jerk-ass cyborg rabbit choked him to death..."

"Who?"

"Nothing... But with all we've been through, this R2 unit has become a bit eccentric."

"Goldie-Wan Kenobi... I wonder if he means old Fred Kenobi." Bonnie pondered aloud, stoically staring to the floor.

"I beg your pardon, sir. Do you know what he's talking about?" Threepio inquired, looking over Artoo.

Bonnie got up and wiped his paws with a cloth, "Well, I don't know anyone named Goldie-Wan... But old Fred lives out beyond the Dune Sea." He turned his head to the hologram, "I wonder who she is..."

...

"I think that R2 unit might have been stolen." Bonnie said as he took a seat, joining his Uncle and Aunt for dinner.

"What makes you think that?" Owen asked.

"I stumbled across a recording when I was cleaning him." The purple rabbit replied, "It was something about some hot chick in trouble... Oh, and he says that he belongs to someone called Goldie-Wan Kenobi."

Beru gave a worried look at Owen, who then glanced at Bonnie for a moment before returning to his meal, "I thought he might have meant old Fred. Do you know what he's talking about?"

Owen simply shook his head, "Nah, I didn't know what crap he's talking about." He replied, spewing some meal onto the table from his mouth.

"I wonder if he's related to Fred... I mean, they have the same last name, so technically they might have been a-"

"That wizard's just a crazy old bear." Owen rudely cut the young rabbit off, "Tomorrow, take that R2 unit to the Anchorhead and have its memory erased. That'll be the end of it, it belongs to us now."

"Heeeeeey... What if this Goldie-Wan comes looking for him?" Bonnie whined, pouring himself a glass of blue milk, "And the chicken too! How about her?"

"No he won't, I don't think he exist anymore. He died about the same time as your father." Owen replied, "And... how hot the chicken is? I bet she looks like Pamela Anderson in bikini-"

"He knew my father?!" Bonnie suddenly perked, nearly spitting his milk out.

"I told you to _forget_ it." His uncle sternly said, "Your only concern is to prepare those new droids for tomorrow. In the morning, I want them on the south ridge, working on those crappy condensers." The brown rabbit said, taking a sip from his own milk, "And find out whose this chicken you mentioned, I want to fu- I mean, see her."

Bonnie looked disappointed, "Yes, sir." He responded, "I think those droids are gonna work out fine. In fact, I was also thinking about our agreement... about me staying on another season. If these new droids work out, I want to apply to the academy this year."

"You mean next semester before the harvest?"

"Sure, there's more than enough droids."

"Harvest is when I need you the most, it's only one season more. This year we'll make enough on the harvest to hire more hands and then you can go to the academy next year." Owen paused, "You must understand I need you here, Bonnie.

Bonnie's eyes widened, "Oh, come ooooon! That's a whole 'nother year! You gotta be shitting me..."

"It's only one more season."

"That's what you said when Biggs and Tank left." The young rabbit stood from his seat, "And one more season stuck with vaporators and condensors... and malfunctioning, heat-stroked droids..."

"Where are you going?"

Bonnie sighed in annoyment, "Looks like I'm going nowhere... I'm just gonna finish cleaning up those droids."

...

After finished watching sunset outside (which was done according to the script) Bonnie went back to downstairs to finish the rest of his chores, as he looked around, he noticed that the two droids were gone. Not even the slightest hint of where did the two went found anywhere... But just as he pressed a button on his speeder key to lock it, Threepio suddenly emerged from behind the speeder, looking a bit panicked. "Agh!'

"What are you doing there?" Bonnie asked, "Uncle Owen would be mad if someone scratches his speeder..."

"It wasn't my fault sir, plase don't deactivate me!" Threepio answered, "I told him to not go, but he's faulty, malfunctioning, a jackass... kept babbling about his mission-"

"Now hold on a sec, what are ya talking about exactly?"

"What am I talking about? I'm talking about that little, obnoxious, astromech droid! Whose none other than R2-D2!"

Bonnie glanced at the stairs that lead to upstairs, before muttering, "Oh no..." He grabbed a macrobinoculars and headed outside the house, scanning his surrounding with the said item.

"That R2 unit has always been a problem, these astro droids are getting quite out of hand." Threepio said, approaching Bonnie, "Even I can't understand their logic at times."

"How could I be so stupid? He's nowhere in sight." Bonnie said to himself, "Blast it!"

"Pardon me, sir, but shouldn't we go after him?" Threepio asked.

"It's too dangerous with Sandpeople around, we'll have to wait until morning." Bonnie replied, then turned to the golden droid. "Unless if you wanna go out now and get roasted by them, but they probably won't eat droids anyway."

"Bonnie! I'm shutting the power down! Y'all better be here before I lock you both outside!" Owen told the two from the house.

"Alright, I'll be there in a few minutes!" Bonnie replied, "Boy, am I gonna get it." He turned to Threepio, "That little droid's gonna cause me a lot of problem."

"He excels at that, sir."

"Come on, let's get inside... "

 **A/N Aaaaand that's all folks! Sorry if the humor are lame, cheesy, or... whatever. I just couldn't come up with a good dry humor, but... Well, hope this good!**

 **And hopefully, the story can focus on more humor andbecamelessserious**


	3. Take Your Daughter to Work Day

**Sorry for the tardiness guys, been busy this holiday... Family vacation, then I got sick, had a bunch of plans to do with my old friends... But, at least I got this chapter finished .n.**

 **Okay, this one's (mostly) just a filler chappy (not at all actually, just half of it), introducing two other characters from FNAF... And they gonna be a part of most parody scenes here. Wonder who they are? Well, why don't we just cut the chatter, and get to the chapter,** _ **dummkopfs?**_

 _ **No insult intended tho.**_

A lone Sandtrooper (and a young female bunny next to him, holding her paws) stood in the middle of a sand road of Mos Eisley spaceport, a pair of midnight black bunny ears stuck out from him helmet, and a dark grayish puffball tail from the back of his waist armor. He glanced around the sorta busy road, speeders and aliens passed by, and his fellow Stormtroopers too. The scorching heat from the twin sun didn't bothered him a little, even through wearing such stuffy (and pretty much useless) armor, he stood still... Wiping a nonexistent sweat from his helmet.

"Hey Shab." A Sandtrooper greeted, standing next to him. This Sandtrooper has a pair of dark purple bear ears stuck out from his helmet, and wore a standard Sandtrooper armor.

"Hey, Shaf..." Shab replied nonchalantly, still scanning the road.

"Lookin' for those droids?" Shaf asked.

"Yeah," The rabbit answered, "Took a part-time job as Sandtrooper here, at first I thought it's not that bad... Simple, just look for those droids and we're done. But then we found some... difficulties here..."

"Ah, I see..." Shaf uttered, then turned to the young maroon red bunny next to him, "And who's this? I never saw her before..."

"Oh, this is my daughter, Olivia. Long story." Shab ruffled his daughter's head affectionally, then sighed, "It all began with "Take Your Daughter to Work" day..."

 **Earlier.**

Shab took some foods from the fridge and cabinets before putting them in his pink lunch box, not forgetting his silver thermos. Feeling his preparation was done. He walked away from the kitchen, but only to be halted by his wife - a red rabbit in purple-pink pajamas. "Now Shabby, where do you think you're going? Isn't today's "Take Your Daughter to Work" day?"

Shab sighed, lowering his head. "No one actually does that..." He gruffly said with a hint of annoyement.

His wife put a paw on his shoulder, "Shabby, you promised..."

Shabby paused, before groaning a little. "Alright, alright... I'll take Olivia to my workplace..."

 **Later, on Tantive IV...**

A group of Rebels prepared their blasters in the front of a door, before a group of Stormtroopers blew the door off and stormed inside. The first Stormtrooper entered the ship was hit by a blaster bolt and killed immediately, a few more came in, and then Shabby... and his daughter, "Come on, sweetie." He coughed, waving some smoke with his paw before getting a hold of Olivia, shooting at the Rebels a few times with his blaster. "Watch out!" He pulled Olivia out of the way before a blaster bolt hit her, and instead, hitting the Stormtrooper behind the young rabbit.

"Mr. Freddybear!" She cried, trying to reach her bear plushie, but Shabby held her back before she could get into the line of fire. "Daddy! Look!" She tugged her father's armor, pointing to the bear plush across the hallway.

Shabby sighed, lowering his head and immediately sprung into action. He stepped aside and exited his cover, shooting a Rebel on his chest and swiftly dogded some blaster bolts and rolled his way to the other side of the hallway. The dark furred rabbit was took some breath, taking his daughter's bear plush and crawled to his daughter's place, handing her the bear plush. "Here ya go sweetheart..." Shab panted, on his knees.

"Who is this little girl?!" A dark mechanical voice boomed, and Shab immediately got to his feet and faced the source of the voice, who was no other than Darth Springtrap himself.

"Ah! Lord Springtrap! Uh, today's "Take Your Daughter to Work" day, and I know- but my wife said I never see her much, an-and... Let's be honest, she's right, she's right..." Springtrap remained silent, Shab chuckled nervously, "It's just that... Olivia changed our world... Ugh, I'm so gonna get Force choked after this, but... Fuck it." He held his daughters paw, taking a deep breath and solemnly said. "I _love_ my daughter."

The Dark Lord leaned down to face Shab, eyeing the other rabbit while thumped his chest with his fist. "That really hits me on my heart." He grabbed a nearby Rebel soldier (brought by the Stormtroopers) by his neck and lifted him easily with his paw, "What have you _done_ with those plans?! Shabby here, never see his daughter because of people like _you_!" There was a brief pause, before a snap of bone was heard. The Rebel went limp, Springtrap innocently gasped and put his paw to his mouth - or mask, "Oh, I'm so sorry you had to see _that_." He dropped the dead Rebel to the floor, then leaned in to the young rabbit. "Are you having fun, being at work with your daddy?"

Olivia whimpered, then hid her head behind Shab. Springtrap chuckled, "I know, I'm scary." He mockingly wiggled around.

 **Present time, with Bonnie and Threepio...**

"Look, there's a droid on the scanner, dead ahead!" Bonnie said, "It might be our little R2 unit, hit the accelerator!"

The speeder suddenly launched into an unbelievable speed, leaving a trail of dust behind it.

"What the heck did you just do? S-Slow down!" Bonnie said, frantically pressed himself to the seat.

"I'm trying, sir. But it seems like I hit the boost button instead of the accelerator..."

"And why the hell did you pressed that button?!"

"I don't know, they all looked the same to-" Threepio was cut off when the speeder hit a rock, and Bonnie lurched out from it, alongside his blaster rifle... But Threepio didn't, because he was wearing a seatbelt. "Now remember kids," He turned to the readers, "always wear your seatbelt, obey traffic rules and-" An airbag suddenly activated, clamping the protocol droid between the seat and the airbag itself, "...Goodness! This is why I hate driving..."

"Aaaaaah!" Bonnie landed on the sandy ground face first, and somehow in the front of Artoo. He lifted his face and spat a mouthful of sand, wiping his mouth with the sleeve of his tunic. "Oh, there you are!" He exclaimed, got up and dusted himself off. "Hey, whoa! Where do you think you're going?"

Artoo let out some beeps and whistles.

"Your mission huh? Right..." Bonnie huffed a little, "Now, how about _I_ give you a new mission? Go back to the farm, and take care of the vaporators before Uncle Owen threaten to circumcise me for the second time because I lost you."

Artoo bleeped and waved his body to left and right, imitating a waving hand.

"What's that? Something on my face?"

*wheeeeeez...* *PEW!*

Bonnie blinked a few times, frowning deeply, then turned himself around - also revealing a blaster scorch mark at the back of his head, then his eyes scanned the canyon around him. "Weird, I thought I hear a blaster being shot somewhere." The bunny tapped his chin.

*PEW!*

A blaster bolt pierced through his forehead, leaving the identical scorch mark at the back of his head. As his eyes fixated at it, he let out a long whistle. "Well, that's new..." Bonnie said before collapsing onto the sandy ground face first - again.

"Oh my goodness! Master Bonnie!" Threepio rushed towards his owner, "Are you alright?"

"Nah, I'm good," Bonnie raised his paw and gave the two droids a thumb up, "just a blaster wound." A rather large rock was thrown to his back, followed with a yelp of pain, "Aaah! My spine..." Seemingly annoyed that Bonnie is still conscious, the Sandpeople decided to drop a piano on the poor rabbit, "Oh wow, where did they get a piano?" He said to himself, poking his head from the piano wreckage. A Tusken Raider came approaching and knocked its stick to Bonnie's head, rendering the young rabbit unconscious.

"RAAAGH!"

"Holy poodoo! Run!"

 **Meanwhile, in a cave nearby...**

A lone cloaked figure was sitting cross-legged on a flat rock that acts like some kind of floor, the figure let out a soft humming while meditating in peace.

"Hummmmm..."

*beep* *beep*

"Mhm?" He looked at his limited edition Dora the Explorer watch, "Ooh, lunch time." The figure took out a chinese food box and wooden chopsticks, setting them on his lap as he opened the box, sniffing the tantalizing scent coming out from it. "Ah, nothing better than a lunch after meditating in silent and remote cave in the middle of nowhere."

A rumble slightly shook the cave, some debris fell from the ceiling and if one listen carefully, there are some ruckus outside that probably caused that rumble. _That's odd_ , he thought, _what could possibly caused that rumble? I thought Jundland Wastes was an isolated place..._ Setting his food aside, the figure dusted his robe and walked to the cave entrance. To his right, was a small Rebel group fighting off numerous waves of Stormtroopers, Scout Troopers, Shock Troopers and AT-STs. Piles of dead Stormtrooper was around them, and the Rebel Troopers took down every single Imperial troopers and walkers they saw with exceptional skills.

"Yeah! C'mere ye little white armored pussies! Imma mow ye down like a Bantha poodoo!" One of the Rebel Trooper said as he blew up an AT-ST with a Rocket Launcher.

"Not so tough without your Vader huh?" A female Rebel Tooper mocked while blasting some more Stormtroopers, "Hah!"

As if to add a badass effect, a flaming Imperial Star Destroyer suddenly crashed onto Tatooine surface, creating a huge explosion behind them as they continue their Stormtrooper killing spree in _slow_ motion...

 _Hmpf, that explains it..._ The figure crooked his lips, then turned to his left, where he spotted an unconscious purple bunny near a speeder - and a golden protocol droid that was being chased around by two Tusken Raiders, while some others are rummaging the speeder for something to loot. _Oh Force, those two needs my help! Well, it's time to do that "scare the Tusken Raiders away" shouting... thing._

...

In the meantime, Artoo was hiding under a formation of rocks, helplessly watching the Tusken Raiders throwing various stuff out of Bonnie's speeder, his master unconscious on the ground, and Threepio gotten into an endless cat-and-mouse game with some other Tusken Raiders. There's nothing he can do, really, other than hoping for a miracle to save him...

That is, until a rather scary howl was heard, gaining the Tusken Raiders' attention. Seeing who made it, Artoo was a bit surprised when seeing a cloaked figure walking (kind of, it's more like wobbling actually) toward the Sandpeople, waving its arms about. Miraculously enough, it scared them away... to an extent. They probably just intimidated, but _whatever_.

And after those Sandpeople gone, the figure approached the unconscious form of his master, then knelt beside Bonnie, Artoo can only whimper, worrying if the figure going to do something bad to the rabbit. Then it began to do CPR, splashing water to Bonnie's face, blowing a loud air horn, and lastly, it held Bonnie's wrist to check for pulse, and put its paw on his forehead.

Sensing another presence around it, the figure turned to Artoo's direction and lowered its hood. Revealing an old bear with yellowish gold fur and white beard. "Hello there." He greeted with a friendly tone. The astromech droid only bleeped in response. "Come here my little friend, don't be afraid."

Seemingly understand his droid language, Artoo let out a few beeps.

"Oh, don't worry. He'll be fine." The bear assuringly said as Bonnie stirred awake. "Rest easy son, you've had a busy day." He helped the rabbit to sit, "You're fortunate to be all in one piece."

"Mhm..." Bonnie rubbed the back of his head, then stared at the person who saved him. Blinking his eyes a few times to clear his vision. "Fred? Fred Kenobi?"

"Well, yeah, that's me." Fred replied as he helped Bonnie to sit on nearby rock, "Tell me, young Bonnie, what brings you this far to the Jundland Wastes?"

"This little droid." Bonnie simply answered, gesturing to Artoo, who just exited his hiding place. "I think he's searching for his former master, said he belongs to Goldie-Wan Kenobi, is he a relative of yours? Or do you know who he is?"

Fred was silent, and went wide-eyed, seeming to be surprised at the question. "Well, he got the same last name as yours. He should've shared blood with you, or probably not, then again, I felt like you both are connected somehow. Because when Uncle Owen said..."

The golden bear reflected over something, still putting on his surprised look. "Goldie-Wan Kenobi?" He asked, stopping Bonnie's rambling. "Goldie-Wan... I suppose it's should be Goldy with "y" and not "ie"... But, that's the name I've not heard in a long time. A long time."

"I think my uncle knows him. He said he was dead."

"Oh, he's not dead. Not yet anyway."

"Ooh! You know him?"

"Of course, in fact, he's right here." Fred grinned, finger pointing to himself.

"Where is he?! Where?!" Bonnie excitedly bounced and began searching around him, as if all the wounds he suffered healed instantly. "Tell me!"

"He's me." Fred uttered, and Bonnie's excitement ceased immediately, turning into a mix of surprise and disbelief. While Artoo just bleeped in happiness. "I haven't gone by the name of Goldie-Wan since, oh, before you were born."

"Oh, well, he is you! Heheh!" The purple rabbit giggled, "Then this droid belongs to you then?"

"I don't seem to remember ever owning a droid." Fred replied, staring at Artoo with interested look at his face, "Very interesting."

*GROWL!*

"I think we better get indoors. The Sandpeople are easily startled, but they'll soon be back, and in greater numbers." Fred told the two, getting into his feet and walked towards the speeder.

Artoo bleeped and shook himself slightly, trying to remind hid master of something...

"Threepio..." Bonnie muttered, snapping his fingers and turned around to search for his protocol droid.

Later...

"Gosh, what did they do to Threepio?" Bonnie said to himself as he picked up Threepio's severed arm, "And... Eugh, what the heck is this?" He pointed to the... sticky, white substance coated the hand part.

"Hmm... Judging by the smell, it seems like the Sandpeople used your droid arm for their... _contentment_." Fred replied, looking rather unamused.

"Like what?"

"Oh, I'd rather to not go and ramble about... _things_ the Sandpeople would do to satisfy their desires." The bear chuckled nervously, rubbing his beard. "Besides, it would be improper and too vulgar for you to understand."

"Right..." Bonnie kept searching around him for the protocol droid, until he found him just below the hill they were standing. "Threepio!" The rabbit immediately rushed to his droid, completely unaware of a Bantha poop at the edge of the hill.

"Bonnie! Watch out for the Bantha-"

*slip!*

"Whoa!"

But Fred was too late, Bonnie already slipped on the poop and was tumbling down the hill, his head hitting a few rocks present and ended up landing on a passing Jawa, the creature let out one last yelp as cracking of a few bones was heard, and the poor fella was crushed to death. While Bonnie just fell unconscious again from the numerous hit he received on his head.

"...poodoo."

Artoo bleeped in worry, turning to the bear next to him. "Oh, he'll be fine Artoo, don't worry." Fred assured, smiled. "Guess we had another patient to take care of..."

The astromech droid clicked and beeped, and Fred could only chuckle, "...Totally. Sloppy and naive, just like his father." He shook his head, taking a deep breath. "Now come on, help me carry them to the speeder. Then I'll take you all to my home."


	4. Stormtroopers at the Moisture Farm

**Something I forgot to mention on the last chap; that part with Shabby and his daughter was taken from Robot Chicken Star Wars: Take Your Daughter to Work Day. I could take more references from it, but for now I'm sticking with my lightweight humor combined with some humor from RCSW episodes. If any of you got a problem with it, please, PM me instead of flaming me on the review section. Okay? Good.**

 **Disclaimer: I don't own Robot Chicken Star Wars, it belogs to Adultswim... nor did I own Star Wars (that's George Lucas' stuff... and now Disney's too) and FNAF (owned by Scott Cawthon) All I did here was making a parody.**

 **Fred Kenobi's homestead, moments later...**

Bonnie, having his head patched up, was listening to Fred's tales about his father while fixing Threepio's arm. But of course, due to his Uncle's strong influence, he didn't believe any of the stories. "No, my father didn't fight in the wars. He was a navigator on a spice freighter"

Fred scoffed, "That's what she said."

"Huh?"

"I mean, that's what your Uncle told you." Fred corrected himself, "He didn't hold with your father's ideals. Thought he should have stayed here and not gotten involved."

Successfully gaining the bunny's attention, Bonnie turned around to face the old bear. "You fought in Clone Wars?"

"Yes, I was once a Jedi Knight. Same as your father." Fred replied, rubbing his beard. _And he was the most naive, obnoxious, but skilled kid I've ever met. Like you._ He added mentally, smiling to himself.

Bonnie leaned against the wall, stoically staring at the floor while deep in thought. "I wish I'd known him."

"He was the best starpilot in the galaxy and a cunning warrior. I understand you've become a good pilot yourself."

Flattered, Bonnie smiled and resumed his work on Threepio.

" _And_ he was a good friend. Which reminds me." Fred got up from his seat and walked towards his chest compartment and opened it, "Your father want you to have it when you were old enough, but your Uncle wouldn't allow it."

Bonnie rolled his eyes, _obviously_. "He feared that you might follow old Goldie-Wan on some damn-fool idealistic crusade like your father did."

"Sir, if you'll not be needing me, I'll close down for a while." Threepio said.

"Sure, go ahead." After the protocol droid shut himself down, Bonnie approached Fred, who was carrying a silver, tube-like object with him. "What is it?"

"It's your father's lightsaber." Fred replied, handing the object to Bonnie. "Not as clumsy and random as a blaster, but definitely makes someone who used it 40% more awesome."

*BZZT!* *SWOOSH!*

Bonnie activated the lightsaber, slightly taken aback, but then he began to swinging it gently across the air. "It's an elegant weapon for a civilized age." Fred then went back to his seat, letting the kid having fun with the lightsaber. "For over a thousand of generations-" Fred, with his many years of training as Jedi, easily ducked the lightsaber swung at him to avoid being decapitated with ease. "The Jedi Knights were the guardian of peace and-" He ducked another swing, "justice in the Old Republic... before the dark times." The bear leaned against the chair to avoid being slashed at his face. "Before the Empire."

While Fred rambled about Jedi and all that stuff, Bonnie was stuck in his own imagination. Where he fought a bunch of Stormtroopers and deflected their blaster bolts, dueling with Imperial Sith Acolytes, and every badass stuff anyone could do against the Empire.

*SWOOSH!* *BZZT!*

That is, until he accidentally decapitated Threepio's head with the lightsaber. "Oops... my bad." He put his paw to his mouth, staring at the protocol droid's head rolling down on the floor. "Oh well, it's not like we can't fix him, right?"

Artoo bleeped and whistled, recoiling a bit when the head rolled into his direction, and stopped in the front of him.

The rabbit then deactivated the lightsaber, seeing no use of imagining stuff and causing more damage. "How did my father die?" Bonnie asked Fred, taking a seat next to the bear.

"Oh, I cut off his remaining organic limbs and left him to burn to death near a river of lava." Fred replied with a cynical grin.

"Y-You... Wh-What?" Bonnie stared at the old bear in shock and disbelief, eyes swelling up with tears.

"Nah, just kidding. He was killed by a formel pupil of mine named Darth Springtrap." Fred corrected before the bunny could burst into tears, "He helped the Empire hunt down and destroyed the Jedi Knights, then he betrayed and murdered your father." He explained, seeing that Bonnie have forgotten about what he joked earlier and now has taken his interest on his story, "Now the Jedi are all but extinct... Springtrap was seduced by the dark side of the Force, and he went on his brutal Jedi killing spree for over 19 years straight."

"Oh, the force?" Bonnie asked, scooting closer to the old bear. "Tell me about it."

"The Force is what gives the Jedi his powers. It's an energy field created by all living things, and..." When Fred turned to the rabbit, he was already dozed off from the short explanation, blowing a snot bubble from his nose that shrunk and grow. He nudged Bonnie, waking the rabbit up and popped his snot bubble.

"Hmm? Wha... Sorry, I guess that's too much info for me..." Bonnie said, stretching his limbs while Fred only shook his head in disapproval.

"Beep blip blip beep" Artoo beeped, reminding the two of something.

"Oh, and you said this little droid has a message for me?" Fred asked.

"Yeah... But I think I only saw a small part of it." Bonnie answered, "You think you can fix that?"

The bear hit Artoo's dome with his paw, then the astromech droid projected the holographic message Bonnie saw last night, "Well, I seem to have found it..."

" _General Kenobi. Years ago, you served my father back in Clone Wars. Now he begs you in his struggle against the Empire. I regret that..._ " The chicken in the hologram rambled on.

"Force, I'm bored... Can we skip to the important thing little friend?" Fred asked, and Artoo complied by bleeping and skipping to the important part of the message.

" _...I have placed four pounds of Nubian Starfruit, a pack of Corellian beer, a few pounds of Bantha meat... Hey, wait a minute!_ " The chicken paused, before sighing and facepalming, " _Goddamnit Antilles... That's my dad's shopping list, switch to the next card please._ "

" _Oh, right... Sorry princess._ " A voice from off screen said, presumably Antilles' voice, followed by some shuffling noise.

The chicken took a deep breath, before continuing, " _As I was saying. I have placed information vital to the survival of the rebellion into the memory systems of this R2 unit. My father will know how to..._ " She closed her eyes and gritted her teeth, " _ **NOT**_ _showing a fucking poster of a naked Twi'lek in the front of me!_ "

" _A-Ah, sorry... that's my friend's collection... must've slipped between the cards, heheh..._ " Antilles apologized from off screen.

The princess cleared her throat and resumed, " _My father will know how to retrieve it. You must see this droid safely delivered to him on Alderaan. This is our most desperate hour. Help me Goldie-Wan Kenobi, you're my only hope... Ugh, sounds pathetic, but whatever._ " With that, she pressed an invisible button and the message ended.

Fred reclined on his seat, rubbing his beard. "Never thought a princess could be that grumpy - but, interesting..." He paused a little, Bonnie looked a little dumbfounded, then turned to Fred, in which, the bear smirked. "You must learn the ways of the Force if you're to come with me to Alderaan."

"Alderaan? No, I'm not coming to Alderaan! I mean, it's halfway across the galaxy!" Bonnie replied rather rudely, then shifted his attention to his watch. "Crap, gotta get home... It's late and Uncle Owen's gonna lock me outside with these droids if I didn't come home in time." He got up from his seat and packed his stuff away, "Artoo, help me with Threepio's head will ya?"

"I need your help, Bonnie." Fred suddenly said, " _She_ needs your help. I'm getting too old for this sort of thing."

"I can't get involved, I've got work to do... It's not that I like the Empire, I hate it. The last time I messed with the Empire, I got fined and imprisoned for 9 hours when I accidentally shot a Stormtrooper on his balls because I got pissed off..." Bonnie said, sighing and leaned his shoulder on the wall, fiddling with his fingers.

 **Meanwhile,**

FP-690 was patrolling on one of the Death Star's many hallways, constantly rubbing his crotch while walking through the hallway.

"Still got your balls stinging?" ST-254 asked, joining the other Stormtrooper.

FP-690 nodded, glancing at his blaster, "Yeah, that farmboy deal a number on it, and my junior too... if you know what I'm saying."

"Ah, I got that."

The duo Stormtrooper chuckled along as they continued their patrol.

 **Back at Tatooine...**

"Besides, that's such a long way from here..."

"That's your uncle talking." Fred countered.

"My Uncle... how am I ever gonna explain this?"

"Learn about the Force, Bonnie..."

The rabbit stared blankly at the lightsaber on his paw, "Look, I can take you as far as Anchorhead. You can get a transport to Mos Eisley or wherever you're going."

"Well, you must do what you think is right..."

...

"Man, what the heck happened here?"

On their way to Anchorhead, the group accidentally found a pile of dead (or unconscious) Jawas around a Sandcrawler, and with curiosity, they decided to investigate the scene of action.

"Seems like the Jawas did a mass suicide or something..." Bonnie said nonchalantly.

"Ahem..." Fred cleared his throat, gesturing to the gaffi sticks and Bantha tracks, "You think?"

"Right... Sandpeople did this." The rabbit corrected, plucking a gaffi stick from the ground, "It's just, I never heard of them hitting anything this big before." He then accidentally drove the stick into an unconscious Jawa's head that were laying on the ground, and Bonnie winced as the Jawa yelped and died instantly.

"They didn't." Fred said, "But we are meant to think they did. These tracks are side-by-side, the Sandpeople always ride a single file to hide their numbers."

"These are the same Jawas that sold us the droids." Bonnie said... But Fred ignored him.

"And these blast points..." Fred wrapped his arm around Bonnie's shoulders and guided him to the Sandcrawler, where he pointed to the scorch marks littered all over the metal plating. "...too inaccurate, for Sandpeople."

"And?..."

"Only Imperial Stormtroopers who has the accuracy as precise as this..."

The purple rabbit looked at one of the dead Jawas, then to the duo droids near his speeder, then back at the Jawa, then the droids, then the Jawa, the droids, Jawa, droids, Jawa, droids...

Hmm...

"If they traced the robots here, they may have learned where they sold them to... and that would lead them back..." Bonnie paused, "...home." He immediately rushed back to his speeder.

"Wait, Bonnie!" Fred called, "It's too dangerous!"

Bonnie ignored the old bear, and kicked the speeder into maximum acceleration.

"Bonnie! Watch out for the-"

*CRASH!* *BAM!*

Fred winced as the Bonnie's speeder crashed into a rock that the rabbit didn't see, eyes narrowed and hissed at imagining how painful it must be, "...rock."

Bonnie lifted his arm and gave Fred and the droids a thumbs up, signaling he's okay. "N-Nah, I'm good!"

...

After reversing his speeder, Bonnie drove his way back to his house. Every second, he's worrying about what happened to his uncle and aunt. They probably couldn't be dead, right? But what did those Stormtroopers may have done to them? He know that Uncle Owen was a dick, perverted and irresponsible uncle... Still, he and Aunt Beru was the ones who had taken care of him while his parents are gone for good.

His eyes widened as he saw the smoke on the sky, and his fear was confirmed when he arrived at his house... where the smoke came from. He stopped his speeder and stepped off, walking toward his charred house.

"Uncle Owen! Aunt Beru!" He called, hoping his uncle and aunt to be somewhere.

Much to his horror, Bonnie gasped at the sight of... Uncle Owen's cactus plant was very close to the flames, and nearly caught on fire! The rabbit rushed to the plant and picked it up, inspecting for any damage. He sighed in relief when the plant was intact, save for a few missing thorns. "Phew, Uncle Owen's gonna go crazy when finding out his prized cactus plant in ashes..." The purple rabbit said to himself, but stumbled on something on the ground, he managed the save the cactus' pot from breaking, "Oh, thank god..."

Bonnie got up and dusted himself, "Uncle Owen! Your cactus plant is..." His relief was short-lived as he saw two skeletons that was once Uncle Owen and Aunt Beru in the front of the entrance, "...safe?"

He lowered the plant and stared at the two skeletons in grief, darn, all he did was buying two droids and just wanted to finish his job and... go out with his friends! Why did all of this has to happen?

Bonnie walked back to his speeder in silent, bringing Uncle Owen's cactus plant with him to remember his uncle by.

 **Earlier at the Lars' homestead...**

Shab, her daughter Olivia, and his fellow Stormtrooper Shaf were at Owen and Beru's farm, Beru was keeping the duo trooper occupied while chatting over some cookies and blue milk, listening to Shab's story.

"...and then Lord Springtrap shows up and he was like;" The dark furred rabbit stood up, imitating Darth Springtrap's voice, " _What's this little girl doing here?_ It was not a good day to be wearing white armor - let's just put it that way."

As he finished his story, Beru laughed and served a plate of cookies. "I haven't laughed this hard in ages. I'm so happy that you two stopped by."

Shab picked up a cookie, "You know, I thought going door to door looking for those droids was gonna suck. But if it gets me out of the heat and filled up with cookies and blue milk, I'm all for it." He said, but paused as he about to take a bite from the cookie. "And speaking of blue milk, can I use your bathroom, Beru?"

"Of course. Down the hall on the left."

...

Shab has finished using the toilet and flushed it, then he used the sink to wash his paws, strut a little as he dried his paws with a nearby towel, posing in the front of the mirror, all while humming a song. He then opened a drawer and pulled out a bottle, "Apply directly to rectal fissures? Eugh!" He read aloud, dropping the bottle back to the drawer in disgust and slammed it shut. Causing the shelves in front of him to break, but he managed to catch all the bottles that fell off. Unfortunately, the other shelf broke, and a huge plate rolls off and knocked the towel rack into a candle, setting the towel on fire.

"Uh-oh..." Shab tried to fan the fire with his bare paws, but no avail. "Not good! Not good, not good. Uh..." He ran to the sink and grabbed another towel, soaking it with water to put out the fire, only for the towel to caught on fire. "Oh shit!" He threw the burning towel to the toilet, which also caught on fire. "Uh..." The rabbit ran back to the sink and splashed the water all over the flames in vain. But the fire only spread even more, engulfing the bathroom in it. "Ooh it's spreading..." Realizing nothing he can do to stop the fire, Shab ran out from the bathroom to warn his fellow Stormtrooper.

Back at the kitchen, Beru was refilling Shaf's glass of blue milk, while Olivia was busy munching the cookies. "Ah, thanks Beru."

"No problem." The elder rabbit replied.

But the peaceful moment was suddenly interrupted when a panicked Shab returned and lifted Olivia to his shoulder, "Uh, Shaf! We should go - now!" He told the dark furred bear, lifting him off from the seat.

"Don't be silly, Shabby. You haven't even seen the droids yet." Beru said.

"Oh, that's okay. I don't think they're the droids we're looking for." Shab replied while smiling nervously, grabbing his helmet while pushing Shaf out of the room.

"Uh-huh, alright, alright, Shabby."

The two Stormtrooper (and young girl) were halted when Owen suddenly entered the house with a bag of groceries, "Hi, Beru." He greeted, wiping the sweat off his forehead. "Ooh, it's hot out there."

"Owen, these young men are here to see the droids you bought yesterday." Beru said, but the two elder rabbits was completely oblivious to the smoke that started to pour out from the bathroom.

Owen sniffed the air, "Uh, is something burning?"

Shab then ran off, pulling Shaf behind him by the arm, "Gotta go! Thanks for your time!"

Once they were outside the house, Shaf pulled his arm away from Shab, giving the rabbit an irritated look. "Shabby, what's wrong with you? It's like 165 degrees-"

"Look!" Shab pointed to the burning house, where smoke and flames pouring out from the entrance.

"Oh my god, Owen!" Beru's voice was heard from the house.

"Beru, what are you doing? Call the fire department!" Owen's voice followed suit.

"My photo albums! I can't leave them!"

"No, baby, no! We'll make new memories!"

The two Stormtrooper looked at each other, "Run. Just run." Shab suggested.

"Oh, now we're running." Shaf was about to run, but Shab put his paw on his shoulder to stop the bear.

"Single file! Single file! We'll blame it on the Sandpeople!" The two straightened themselves, then tiptoed away as Owen and Beru emerged from the house as blazing skeleton.

"Oh, I'm burning alive!" Owen shouted as he and Beru fell over to the ground, dead.

 _ **Scene taken above is from; Robot Chicken Star Wars - Episode III: Stormtroopers at the Moisture Farm.**_

 **So... that's how they died.**


	5. Foxy Shoots First (Reuploaded)

_**New AN: Revised a few stuff there and there, nothing much.**_

 **For this chapter, introducing... the cockiest, rogue, and rudest pirate everyone has been waiting for... It's-**

 **Bonnie: *clamps my mouth shut* No! Don't ruin the surprise! Let the readers find out themselves!**

 **Oh, fine...**

Deciding he would come with Fred to Alderaan, learn the ways of the Force to be a Jedi like his father before, Bonnie took Fred and the two droids to Mos Eisley Spaceport, where they could find a transport to Alderaan. But before going there, they decided to stop by a cliff to get a good view of the spaceport.

"Mos Eisley Spaceport." Fred said, breaking the silence. "You will never find a more wretched hive of scum and villainy." The bear crossed his arms, "We must be cautious."

...

Entering the spaceport was... a little tense, even through the city itself is bustling with activities from droids and people, Bonnie couldn't shake off the thought that they would be in danger with these droids on their possession.

Until they stumbled across a Stromtrooper checking post, he couldn't help but feeling his nervousness bubbling up. Fred kept his hood raised to obscure his face, so as no one will recognize him.

"How long have you had these droids?" One of the Stormtrooper asked, oddly enough, this one carried a little girl with him.

"Three or four seasons. They're up for sale if you want them." Bonnie replied, trying to get his confidence up.

"Let me see your identification."

Fred began waving his paw, "You don't need to see his identification."

The Stormtrooper stared vacantly to the golden bear, "We don't need to see his identification..." He said monotonously.

"These aren't the droids you're looking for." Fred continued.

"These aren't the droids we're looking for." The Stormtrooper repeated.

"Yes, they are!" The young bunny girl next to him said.

"He can go about his business."

"You can go about your business."

"Move along."

"Move along." The Stormtrooper signaled his comrades to move aside. And Bonnie wasted no time to accelerated away from the Stormtroopers, he gave the Stormtrooper a confused look, then at Fred.

What just happened?

...

"Daddy! You're not even trying!" Olivia whined to his father, who just got mind-tricked by Fred.

"Baby, it's 165 degrees on this planet! I can't hear in this thing!" Shabby told his daughter, referring to his helmet. "I was just repeating what I thought the guy was sayin'! It's not like it's my own _motherfucking_ thought on the matter, okay?!"

Olivia ran away from his father, crying. "Hon! Aww - baby!"

Shaf turned to the readers, "See? That's why I don't take my daughter for jack _shit!_ "

...

Bonnie parked his speeder in the front of a cantina when a Jawa came and admiring his speeder.

"I can't abide those Jawas! Disgusting creatures!" Threepio complained.

"Shoo! Go on, shoo!" Bonnie shoo'd the Jawa, before kicking it and landed on a trash can head first. "I can't understand how we got by those troops." He said to Fred, "I thought we were dead!"

The old bear got off from the speeder as Shab can be seen chasing his daughter Olivia in the background, "The Force can have a strong influence on the weak-minded." He explained.

Shab pounced to catch his daughter, only to miss and landed on a Jawa, crushing the poor creature to death and yet, counting 5 Jawas harmed in this fic.

"Do you really think we can find a pilot that'll take us to Alderaan?" Bonnie asked, glancing at the cantina entrance.

"Most of the best freighter pilot are to be found here, only watch your step. This place is a little rough." Fred replied, smiling.

"Rough? Whaddya mean rough?" Bonnie questioned as he followed the golden bear and the duo droids to the cantina.

"You'll see..."

...

Inside the cantina was... well, _interesting_. It was a safe haven for many alien species from the tiniest being into a large, brute creature. Drinking and dancing at the music playing in the background. Even Satan lookalike was here. And Bonnie, in his first time to a cantina, was awestruck at the sight and had his jaw dropped a little. So as Threepio, although metaphorically.

Meanwhile, Fred was busy talking to the pilots inside the cantina, who lined themselves up before them. Unfortunately, none of them wants the job he offered... but when the last candidate stepped in. He smirked upon the sight of a familiar Wookiee-bear with a bag slung over his shoulder, a signature bowcaster, and a top hat.

Bonnie and Threepio looked at each other in bewilderment, before stepping further inside the cantina.

"Hey! We don't serve their kind here!" The barman seethed, pointing at... Bonnie?

"What?" The purple rabbit asked.

"Your droids. They'll have to wait outside." The barman clarified. Making some customers whispering and murmuring amongst themselves. "We don't want them here."

"Why don't you wait out by the speeder outside? We don't want any trouble." Bonnie suggested.

"I heartly agreed with your, sir." Threepio replied, heading outside the cantina with Artoo.

The rabbit walked over to a vacant seat between Fred - who was chatting and laughing whole-heartedly with a Wookie-bear, and a turtle face guy... Well, he didn't know the guy's species so don't judge him!

A Jawa suddenly showed up and stopped by the table, tiptoeing so he could see the barman. "Martini?" It said, tapping the table.

"No, we don't have Martini." The barman coldly replied, then went on to serve some more drinks to other costumers.

"Awww..." The Jawa whined, walking away from the table. "Martini?"

"No."

Bonnie could only shake his head at that, and tugged on the barman's tunic slightly. "Uh, I'll have one of those." He said, nervously looking around the cantina as the barman served his drink. Jeez, there's just so many foreign species he couldn't recognize at all, some dressed as pilots and the others looked like normal peasant or top-notch criminals, and some are just downright creepy. The sight made him nervous... _very_ nervous, with Fred busy talking to that Wookie-bear, he never felt this insecure for his life... Except when he broke some of Uncle Owen's pots and accidentally raided his computer files to find porn stuff when he was a little. That was the most insecure moments of his life, knowing how his late uncle is.

He was about to take a sip of his drink when suddenly a hand tapped him, turning, he saw turtle-face was the one who did that. " _I loved your hair! Where did you get it done?_ " It said in its alien language.

Not understanding what it said, Bonnie contemplated a moment to figure out a response. "I... uh, my hair? Well... I-"

He was cut off when a guy shoved turtle-face aside, smirking. "He doesn't like you." The guy by the name of Evazan said, playing a drunk joke on the rabbit.

" _That's not what I said!_ " Turtle-face clarified, unfortunately, the said rabbit didn't understand.

"I'm sorry then." Bonnie apologized, turning away. But Evazan insisted to play around a little more, so he forcefully made Bonnie facing him.

"I don't like you either, you just watch yourself. We're wanted men."

" _What?!_ " Turtle-face said in shock, facepalming at the joke his friend made.

"I have death sentence in 12 systems." Evazan continued.

"I'll be careful." Bonnie replied nonchalantly, turning away, but only for Evazan to shove him rudely.

"You'll be dead!"

" _Hey,_ " Turtle-face pushed his friend aside, grabbing Bonnie by his shoulders and shook him violently. " _I'm really sorry about my friend, man. He's had way too much to drink-_ "

Its sentence was cut short when Fred activated his lightsaber and cut off turtle-face's arm. Mistaking it for harming Bonnie. Turtle-face, whose name is Ponda Baba (phew, finally stopped calling him turtle-face and it) screamed at the agonizing pain and his severed arm laid as a bloodied heap on the floor. The event caused enough panic to make the barman ducked under the table and the Wookie-bear pulled out his bowcaster, silencing the whole cantina. But the normal activity resumed shortly as the customers returned to their drinks and what they were doing before.

Deactivating his weapon, Fred clipped it back to his belt and took Bonnie away from the duo troublemakers, motioning the Wookie-bear behind him to follow. "Fredbacca here - or Freddy as he liked to be called - is a first mate on a ship that might suit us."

Bonnie looked at the towering Wookie-bear behind him, slightly unnerved by his height. "W-Well, I suppose it wouldn't be that bad flying with a Wookie... heh, yeah." He said, chuckling nervously. "I hope he didn't rip my arms off my sockets..." The rabbit added quietly.

"Ahem," Freddy cleared his throat, "I'm afraid that offended me."

Bonnie gasped, "He can talk?! I-I thought Wookies can only growl and bark and stuff!"

Freddy pfft'd, "Come on, that's silly... I'm Wookie-bear! Get it? Half Wookie half bear?" He asked, but Bonnie remained silent. "Well, not all Wookies can talk, I was considered "gifted" in my tribe because I can speak. Then I left Kashyyyk to pursue my career interest in engineering and technology. Unfortunately, the dick you'll be flying with caught me up in his smuggling business with the Hutts, so... here I am, I guess."

"Oh, heheh... I see."

...

To say Freddy's first mate is a dick was a little understatement, when Freddy took Bonnie and Fred to his table, the captain of the ship came over to them. He was a red fox with golden-yellow eyes, wearing a yellowish white shirt that really could use some wash, and its top was unbuttoned, black vest, navy blue pants, an utility belt with a DL-44 blaster pistol, and black combat boots. And well, he was something equivalent to a dick, he was cocky, rude, rogue, and... well, a dick, but he was nice in sudden when it comes to money.

"The name's Foxy Solo. I'm the captain of the Millennium Falcon." The fox introduced himself, Corellian accent tinted his voice. "Freddy here tells me that you're looking for a passage to Alderaan system."

"Yes, indeed, if it's a fast ship." Fred replied.

"Fast ship? You've never heard of Millennium Falcon?!" Foxy asked, frowning at his soon-to-be-passengers.

Fred shook his head, "Should I have?"

Bonnie tapped his chin, "Um, no. Never heard of it."

"It's a ship that made the Kessel run in less than 12 parsecs." Foxy added, Fred only raised his eyebrows and gave him a smile, while Bonnie was just... still in his confused look. "Okay, I've outrun Imperial starships. Not the local bulk cruisers, mind you. I'm talking about the big Corellian ships now." He turned to look Fred, "She's fast enough for you, old man. What's the cargo?"

Fred smirked, "Only passengers... myself, the boy, two droids," The bear gave Foxy a serious look, "and no question asked."

The captain chuckled, "What is it? Some kind of local trouble?"

"Let's just say we'd like to avoid any Imperial entanglements." Fred replied.

"Well, that's the real trick, isn't it? _And_ it's gonna cost you something extra." Foxy said, sneering. "10,000, all in advance."

"10,000?" Bonnie piped up, "We could almost buy our own ship for that!"

"But who's gonna fly it kid, you?" Foxy mocked.

"You bet I could. I'm not such a bad pilot myself." The bunny replied, "We don't have to sit here and listen-"

Bonnie was about to leave, but Fred calmly insisted him to sit back down. "We can pay you 2,000 now, plus 15 when we reach Alderaan."

"15? As in, 15 credits?" Foxy asked, arching an eyebrow.

"No dumbshit, 15,000."

"Oh, seventeen huh?"

Fred nodded, smiling assuringly.

The fox grinned, chucking slightly. "Ok, you guys got yourselves a ship." He said happily, his tail swaying from side to side. "We'll leave as soon as you're ready. Docking bay 94"

"Ninety-four." Fred repeated.

Foxy turned to saw some Stormtroopers in the cantina, questioning the barman, who pointed to the direction where they are sitting. "Looks like somebody's beginning to take an interest in your handiwork."

"Alright, we'll check it out." The Captain said, Bonnie and Fred froze.

...

By the time the Stormtroopers checked Foxy and Freddy's table, Bonnie and Fred was already gone, via blending with the crowd that exited the cantina. The duo acted like nothing ever happened, shooting the Stormtroopers a glare as they left.

"17,000!" Foxy said, smiling gleefully. "Those guys must be really desperate, this could really save my neck."

Freddy remained silent, giving the captain a... creepy, stern look. "What's the matter Freddy? Don't like it?" He asked, but the Wookie-bear remained silent. "Okay... that is actually _fucking_ creepy pal. C'mon, stop it, you looked like you're about to murder someone with that look." Foxy scooted closer to Freddy, "Freddy?"

"Yes?" Another voice replied, Foxy almost jumped on his seat, he turned to the source of the voice and immediately went on a defensive stance. But what made the fox went rigid is that Freddy was standing there, right in the front of his seat with a glass of ale in his paw. But if that's Freddy... who's the Wookie-bear right next to him?

"B-But... if you t-t-there... th-then who's... th-this?" Foxy stammered, his index finger shakily pointed to another Freddy next to him.

"Oh, sorry. That's my hologram." Freddy apologized, pulling out a remote and pressed the button. The hologram of him flickered and gone, sending a wave of relief to his first mate. "I was getting some drink, then I thought it would be rude if I weren't there with you when the deal is taking place."

"Goddamnit, next time... don't do that..." Foxy panted, patting his chest. " _Landlubber_." He muttered silently, Freddy's ears wriggled and shot the fox a look.

"Accent." He warned.

"Right, right... sorry. It keeps slipping of my mouth." It was his family that has an obsession with pirate stuff that caused him to do that, back in Corellia, his Dad was obsessed with pirates stuff... Foxy's attire and his house was filled with pirate stuff, even he was forced to speak on pirate accent. Until now, he tried to conceal the habit of speaking in such accent, but it keeps slipping off his mouth. Luckily however, nobody ever saw him do so except Freddy. "Now get back to the ship, get it ready."

The two stood up and walked away, but a familiar Rodian suddenly came and pressed the barrel of his pistol to Foxy's chest, stopping the vulpine on his track. " _Going somewhere, Solo?_ " He asked in Huttese, focing Foxy to retreat back to his seat.

"Yes, Greedo. As the matter of fact, I was just going to see your boss." Foxy reasoned as he sat back on his seat, putting his legs on the table. "Tell Jabba I've got his money."

" _It's too late. You should have paid him when you had the chance. Jabba put a price on your head so large that every bounty hunter in the galaxy will be looking for you._ " Greedo replied, sitting across Foxy with his blaster still pointed to the fox. " _I'm lucky I found you first._ "

"Yeah, but this time I've _got_ the money."

" _If you give it to me, I might forget that I find you._ "

Foxy looked away, one paw fiddled with the wall and the other slowly reached for his blaster. "I don't have it with me, tell Jabba-"

" _Jabba's through you._ " Greedo cut him off, " _He has no time for smugglers who drop their shipments at the first sign of an Imperial cruiser._ "

"It's just illegally shipped _Twinkies_ , what's the matter with that?" Foxy argued, wrapping his fingers around his blaster handle, slowly pulling it out from the holster. "Even I got boarded sometimes, do you think I had a choice?"

" _It's Jabba's weekly supply of Twinkies, he drove himself half insane for losing them. Now, don't worry... he may only take your ship for that._ "

"Over my dead body." Foxy deadpanned.

" _That's the idea... Ooh, I've been looking forward to this for a long time..._ " Greedo sneered, " _To shoot first..._ "

 _Wait, what?_

As in cue, Greedo shot his blaster before Foxy could, but the captain managed to evade the Greedo's fire and shot back, killing the Rodian with a smoking hole in his chest. Growling, Foxy tilted his head to face the ceiling of the cantina, he shouted. "What. The fuck. WAS THAT?! I should be the one who shot first, not that... that scurvy-" He shook his head, "ay, that jackass!"

There was a brief pause, before he heard a deep, booming voice from above. " _Oh... that was the scrapped "Special Edition" script, sorry Foxy._ " The voice said, most likely the author himself. " _But, I'll give you another try... Be ready, 'cause there won't be another time._ "

"Yeah, yeah... whatever."

An audible sigh was heard and a thunder struck Foxy, the screen faded to white as the scene went back to Greedo's confrontation with Foxy.

" _That's the idea... Ooh, I've been looking forward to this for a long time..._ " Greedo sneered, " _To shoot-_ "

"I bet you have."

*PEW!*

Greedo's prone form fell to the table as a fresh blaster hole was formed on his chest, smoke poured out from his body, the noise also attracted the whole cantina as every single pair of eyes was directed to Foxy. Who just smirked and blew the smoking barrel of his blaster. "That's more like it." He said to himself, holstering his blaster back and got to his feet, tossing a credit to the barman. "Sorry about the mess." The fox shoved his paws to his pockets and walked out from the cantina.

...

Meanwhile, Bonnie and Fred are busy selling Bonnie's speeder.

"Alright, give it to me. I'll take it." Bonnie finally decided, taking the credits from the person they sold the speeder to, "Look at this, ever since XP-38 came out, they aren't just in demand."

"It'll be enough." Fred assured, hurrying to the docking bay where they would meet Foxy and Freddy, unaware of a cloaked figure following them.

...

"Yes, I _will_ get you the Twinkies once I buy them and pay my debt, plus a little extra, I just need a little more time." Foxy said to Jabba as they argued near his ship, the Millennium Falcon.

"Can I suggest something?" A bounty hunter with green Mandalorian arnor suddenly piped up between the two.

"Fuck off Fritz, you ain't got business around here, so shut up." Foxy said to the Mandalorian, giving him the finger.

Fritz shrugged and walked away, "I was just trying to help..."

" _Foxy, my boy, you're the best._ " Jabba replied in Huttese, walking- err, slither next to Foxy? " _So, I would like it to be Coconut flavor and 20-_ "

"Plain Cream, Jabba, don't push me." Foxy interrupted, "And 15 for extra."

" _Okay, 15 percent. But if you failed me again, I'll put a price on your head so big, that you won't be able to go near a civilized system._ " Jabba warned as Foxy walked to his ship ramp.

"Jabba... you're a wonderful human being."

" _Come on._ " The Hutt motioned the other bounty hunters to follow him.

...

Foxy was busy doing some check-up and cleaning on his Millennium Falcon when Freddy led Bonnie, Fred, Threepio and Artoo to the docking bay. Bonnie's eyes went wide as he saw the ship they will use on their trip to Alderaan.

"What a piece of junk!" The bunny exclaimed, stopping on his track.

"She'll make .5 past light speed." Foxy appeared from below the ship, "She may not look like much, but she's got it where it counts, kid. I've made a lot of special modifications myself." He said, approaching the duo. "But we're a little rushed, so if you'll just get on board, we'll get outta here."

Bonnie and Fred walked toward the ramp, followed by Threepio and Artoo. "Hello sir." Threepio greeted as he walked past Foxy, who just ignored them and went back to checking up his ship.

"Stop that ship! Blast them!" A voice shouted, Foxy turned to look several Stormtroopers entered the docking bay and start shooting at him for a reason. He retaliated by brandishing his blaster pistol and shot back, narrowly missing a Stormtrooper head, but the Stormtrooper - due to their superbly inaccurate shooting - missed Foxy completely and got their members gunned down by the captain himself, Foxy rushed into the Millennium Falcon, but didn't forget to shut the door first. "Freddy, get us outta here!"

Meanwhile, Bonnie, Fred, and the droids already strapped themselves to the passenger seat. "Oh my, I'd forgotten how much I hate space travel." Threepio remarked.

The Millennium Falcon took off and soared to the sky, attracting some of the Stormtroopers' attention on the Mos Eisley.

The ship shook as they went through the atmosphere, and finally reached the orbit of Tatooine, Foxy turned his attention to the console as it beeped. Signaling an oncoming Imperial Star Destroyer. "Looks like an Imperial cruiser. Our passenger must be hotter than I thought." He uttered, getting up from his seat. "Try and hold them off. Angle the deflector shield while I make calculations the jump for light speed."

Freddy nodded and activated the deflector shield.

"Stay sharp, there's two more comin' in. They gonna try and cut us off."

The two passengers on the back decided to pay the duo a visit to see what's going on.

"Why don't you outrun 'em? I thought you said this thing was fast!" Bonnie said.

Foxy snapped his head towards the bunny and gave him a glare, "Watch your mouth, kid. Or you'll find yourself floating back home." He shifted his attention back to the console, "We'll be safe enough once we make the jump to hyperspace. Besides, I know a few maneuvers. We'll lose 'em."

The Star Destroyer behind the Millennium Falcon started firing its turbolaser towards the freighter. "Here's where the fun begins."

"How long before you can make the jump to light speed?" Fred asked.

"It'll take a few moments to get the coordinate from the navicomputer." Foxy answered, pressing a few buttons to set the coordinate.

"Are you kidding? At the rate they're gaining?" Bonnie remarked while laughing a little.

"Travelling through hyperspace ain't like dustin' crops, boy!" Foxy retorted, once again giving the bunny a glare. "Without precise calculations, we'd fly right through a star or bounce to close to a supernova, and that would end your trip real quick, wouldn't it?"

"What's that flashing?" Bonnie asked, pointing to the flashing light on the console.

Foxy slapped his paw away, "We're losing deflector shield. Go strap yourselves in while I make the jump to lightspeed." He activated the hyperdrive and nothing happened, "BLOW ME DOWN! BLASTED BUCKET O' BOLTS! Never works when I need it ta... arrrr an those imperial bastards be about ta send us ta Davy Jones!" He suddenly snapped with weird pirate accent.

Freddy paused, "Foxy... you're doing it again."

"Doin' what matey? Oh... ugh... sorry, it keeps slipping."

Bonnie and Fred looked at Freddy for some sort of answer regarding Foxy's outburst. But the Wookie-bear shrugged and went back to what he was doing before. "It's his old habit, pay no mind to it..." He said, "Now go strap yourselves in, we'll try to get this thing jump to light speed."

Bonnie and Fred acknowledged what Freddy said and went back to the passenger seat. Foxy activated the hyperdrive once again, and this time, the Millennium Falcon finally jumped to light speed.

 **Meanwhile...**

As the Death Star approached Alderaan, Darth Springtrap and two Death Star crew escorted Princess Chica to the Death Star control room, where Grand Moff Sparky - a white furred dog - was waiting for her. After Chica successfully pissed off the governor, with her being sassy and all, Sparky decided to take a more, serious action.

"I grow tired of asking this, so it would be last time..." Sparky said, approaching the princess and bent down to get to an eye-to-eye level with her, "Where is the Rebel base?"

Chica frozed, she knew she can't betray her Rebel Alliance on Yavin IV, so... she thought of another choice that will make sense - and fool Sparky and Springtrap here. Finally, she made her choice. "Dantooine, they're on Dantooine..." She said slowly, wrapping her hands together and put it to her chest, looking away slightly for dramatic effect.

Springtrap turned to the crews on the laser control station, "You heard her! Destroy Dantooine!" He commanded, the crew nodded without hesitation and started the laser ignition system.

Panicked, Sparky tried to stop the crews, "Wait!"

But it was too late, the Death Star turned its direction from Alderaan to Dantooine, "Commence primary ignition." A crew said as the Death Star ignited its laser, firing it at Dantooine.

On Dantooine, a gardener was shaving the bushes on Sparky's mansion, located on the middle of a vast, green garden. "Phew, four years of landscaping. But I think Mr. Sparky finally has a home to be proud of." The gardener said, wiping his sweat before looking at the sky, "Oh, hey, a laser!"

The Death Star superlaser destroyed Dantooine, the planet exploded as the debris flew everywhere to the space.

Sparky felt his eye twitch as he saw the planet destroyed, much to his chagrin, he turned to Springtrap and Chica with an angry look on his face. "Springtrap, Dantooine?!" He snapped, "W-What the hell?! You just ruined the cocktail party in my house for god's sake..." The governor facepalmed, while Springtrap just stared at the window, looking at where Dantooine was, and Chica was trying to hold back a giggle, but regardless of that, she instead showed a face of remorse and guilt, never thinking that she would actually fool these two.

"Um... sorry." The Dark Lord apologized, shrugging while trying to avoid the angry governor's glare.

 **Chica just keeps getting planets exploded... and Foxy would definitely shoots first.**

 **I know Sparky isn't a real character in FNAF, but I just thought it would be funny to place him/her in Grand Moff Tarkin's place =p**


	6. That's No Moon

**A/N Eh... sorry for the late update, guys. Life's been taking a toll on me, my parents are outright assholes, so do the jerks in school, and then there was my birthday... worst birthday ever, I gotta pay for all the foods my parents bought for me. Y'know... birthday tradition here, yeah... the birthday guy gotta pay for all o' those stuff.**

 **Ahem, anyway, enjoy the chapter! Although it's kinda short but, whatever...**

 **Also, special thanks to ZeroTheKitsune with helping me writing this chapter! He's an awesome dude, check out his stories too! I strongly recommend it~**

Back at the Millennium Falcon, while en route to Alderaan, Foxy boasted of outrunning the "Imperial slugs," but was annoyed when everyone ignored him. Freddy and Artoo, were playing a game of _Dejarik_. Bonnie, meanwhile, trained with a training remote with his lightsaber, trying to deflect the sting bolts with the civilized weapon.

Fred suddenly clutched his chest and walked to a nearby chair, he wheezed, holding onto the chair to support his weight. Seeing this, Bonnie deactivated his lightsaber and went to check Fred.

"Are you alright? What's wrong?" He asked.

"I sense... a great disturbance in the Force." Fred answered weakly, "As if something happened off-script, I fear something terrible has happened." He put his paw to his forehead, sighing. "You better go back to your exercise."

Bonnie reluctantly left, giving the old bear some time to recuperate. The bunny reactivated his lightsaber and went on his training again. He wondered what's wrong with Fred... he looked so afraid that he started to biting his finger and sweat a lot.

Meanwhile, at Artoo and Freddy's game, the astromech droid managed to defeat one of Freddy's monster. In which, visibly upsetting the Wookie-bear. "How the fuck did he do that?!" He shouted, then slammed his paw on the seat.

"He made a fair move, screaming about it can't help you." Threepio told him.

"Let him have it. it's not wise to upset a Wookie." Foxy said.

"But sir, nobody worries about upsetting droids."

"That's 'cause a droid don't pull people's arms out of their socket when they lose." The captain gave the droid a smug smile. "Wookies are known to do that."

"I see your point sir." Threepio turned to frustrated Freddy, then to Artoo, "I suggest a new strategy Artoo, let the Wookie win."

"Nah, don't worry.. I don't pull people's arms off their sockets." Freddy assured, and leaned toward the golden protocol droid. "I rip people's head off and played headsketball with it." He grinned, giving a wink.

Threepio rubbed his neck, visibly shivering to his metallic spine.

Back with Bonnie, Fred solemnly watched the bunny's performance, rubbing his beard as Bonnie deflected a shot from the training remote. "Remember, a Jedi can feel the Force flowing through-" Not even finishing his sentence. A sting bolt hit Bonnie directly on his crotch, in which, Fred and Foxy narrowed their eyes and looked away, unable to bear to look at the sight.

"Ooooh... That's gonna be numb for _hours_." Foxy commented as Bonnie deactivated his lightsaber and fell to his knees, rubbing the spot he had been hit.

"Yeah, totally." Bonnie grunted, getting back to his feet, and still rubbing his crotch. "I-I guess karma is real..."

Foxy turned to Fred, who smiled and chuckled. "He shot a Stormtrooper right on his balls." The old bear whispered, Foxy flicked his ears and snickered under his breath, leaning against his seat with a large smile plastered to his face. "I sugget you try again, Bon." Fred said, taking a helmet and putting it on Bonnie. "This time, let go of your conscious self, and act on instinct."

"With the blast shield down, I can't even see! How am I supposed to fight?" Bonnie whined, looking around blindly behind his helmet.

"Your eyes can deceive you. Don't trust them." Fred suggested, crossing his arms.

"Okay..." Bonnie reactivated his ligbtsaber, feeling his surroundings for the training remote that could shoot anytime. But then he swung the blade blindly like a mad man, decapitated Threepio for the second time, and nearly sliced Fred in half, Foxy pressed himself to his seat to avoid the death blow the bunny was sending, while Freddy ducked under the Dejarik table to avoid the same fate as Threepio. "Woah! For god's sake, stop that kid!" The captain demanded, still pressing himself to his seat.

Feeling he has no other option, Fred decided to take an action, using a decapitating technique that the Jedi Order forbid unless _absolutely_ necessary...

He knee'd Bonnie on his crotch, a loud crack resounded as the bunny fell to the floor with a heap, his lightsaber deactivated in mid-air and dropped to the floor too. Everyone oooh'd at that and winced.

"Dayuuum... that's gonna hurt more than being probed by an Imperial torture droid..." Freddy stated, "At least they didn't do that to girls..."

 **Sometime later in the cockpit...**

As the Millennium Falcon sped through the hyperspace and nearing Alderaan, our duo smugglers are busy in the cockpit, calculating the coordinate and stuff... "Stand by, Freddy. Here we go." Foxy said, "Cut in the sublight engines."

When the old freighter exited the hyperspace, they ran into an asteroid field instead of Alderaan, where they supposed to be. "What the-" Foxy sat back on the pilot seat, staring to the cockpit window in confusion. "We've come out of the hyperspace into a meteor shower."

" _Obviously._ " Freddy rolled his eyes, huffing a little.

Shooting a dagger to his first mate, Foxy growled and scowled at the Wookie-bear, before returning on navigating his ship outta the asteroid field. "It's not on any of the charts..."

"What's going on?" Bonnie inquired as he and Fred entered the cockpit.

"Our position is correct, except no- Oh wait, we're on Dantooine, accidentally inputted the wrong coordinate on the navicomputer, sorry mates..." Foxy said, rubbing the back of his head nervously while trying to avoid the annoyed glare everyone was giving him. "But... yeah, no Dantooine."

"Where is it then?" Bonnie asked.

"That's what I'm trying to tell you kid, it ain't there. It's been blown away." Foxy replied, frowning at a mail box with the letter "The Sparky's" that was floating in the space went past the cockpit window. "Heh, looks like the governor got his mansion exploded." He commented.

The group screamed and recoiled when suddenly a man dressed in gardener uniform splatted onto the window, then waved at them. "Heya guys, can you give me a ride? I'm, uh... kinda lost in space, heheh..." The man said.

As everyone blinked in confusion, and stayed silent, Freddy slowly reached his paw towards the black button and pressed it, activating the window wiper and start "wiping" the man off the window. "Hey! Oh, that was just downright-... WHOAAAAH!" The man screamed as he finally got rid of the window, floating away in the middle of Dantooine's debris again.

"That was weird..." Freddy stated, everyone nodded in agreement.

But the silent soon broke as the Millennium Falcon rumbled and a TIE Fighter soared past them, "It followed us!" Bonnie exclaimed, pointing to the said fighter.

"No, it's a short-range fighter." Fred stated.

"There aren't any bases around here, where did it come from?" Foxy asked to nobody in particular as he followed the TIE Fighter.

"It sure is leaving in a big hurry. If they identify us, we're in big trouble." Bonnie said.

"Not if I can help it. Freddy, jam its transmission." The captain told Freddy, who complied and did what he said so.

"It would be as well to let it go. It's too far out of range." Fred suggested.

"Not for long." Foxy deadpanned, keeping a short distance with the TIE Fighter.

"A fighter that size couldn't get this deep into space on its own." Fred said. Rubbing his beard.

"He must've gotten lost, been a part of convoy or something." Bonnie replied.

"Well, he ain't gonna be around long enough to tell anybody about us."

As the freighter kept followed the fighter, the group then saw a tiny, gray sphere in the distance. In which, everybody believed as a moon or sort. "Look at him, he's heading for that small moon." The purple rabbit pointed out.

But Fred's eyes went wide, sensing something afoot ahead of them. "That's no moon..." He trailed off, "It's a pizza station."

 **Later...**

"..and then when they guy found out his girlfriend was pregnant, he was like: _NOOOOOOOO!_ "

The crowd chuckled as the comedian finished his joke, applauding as he exited the stage while waving at the crowd back, Death Star's Pizza Station was a rather small crummy building built on a surface of a small asteroid, filled with several Imperial officers and Stormtroopers and a few civilian pilots stopping by, including our heroes here. As the name suggests, it was built to look similar to the Death Star's shape, but only the upper half part.

Despite being crummy and offers cheap, greasy food, the good part of it was a stage built for some volunteers and comedian to perform stand-up comedy or perform other performances, which the Imperial officers and troops enjoyed during their lunch break from the massive space station.

Meanwhile, at the table where the foursome heroes sat, they chuckled at the joke too. Applauding for the comedian, except for Bonnie, who's too busy munching on a pizza they ordered. "Man, the joke was so corny that I could make a popcorn out of it." Foxy commented, making everyone on the table laughed in response.

"Oh man, even your sarcasm is funnier that the guy's joke." Freddy nudged Foxy's arm, grinning widely.

"Yeah, right..." The captain replied as he took a sip from his soda, then turned to Bonnie, who seemed to enjoy the pizza so much. Of course, for a moisture farmer, all he eat was vegetables and Bantha meat, literally everything that grew in desert. And never did in his life Bonnie eat such a heavenly, delicious, greasy and cheesy food like this. "Careful kid, you don't wanna choke on that."

Bonnie looked up from his pizza, his mouth and snout was stained with sauce and melted cheese while chewing the slice he ate in his full mouth. "Wuf?" He asked, spewing bits of chewed bread crumbs and melted cheese on the table, then swallowed the slice to vacant his mouth. "What is it?" He reworded his question.

Foxy snorted, turning away from the bunny. "Nothin', just warning ya it would be unhealthy eating too much of those stuff." He replied, taking another sip from his soda.

The group watched in silence, save for Bonnie's gluttonous munching on the pizza, as a female Twi'lek sang a song on the stage. Before Fred broke the silence by clearing his throat. "So... who's gonna pay?"

Everyone froze, wide eyed, and Bonnie nearly choked on his slice and coughed, pounding his chest with is fist a couple of times before managing to swallow it. They looked at each other... then silently tiptoed out of the pizza station, but Bonnie snuck back to the table to grab another slice, after successfully snatching a slice, he reconsidered it... then grabbed the whole plate instead, before a red paw grabbed him by the collar of his tunic.

"Hurry up, kid." Foxy said silently, dragging the purple bunny with him.

 **Back in the Millennium Falcon...**

Foxy piloted his prized ship to follow another TIE Fighter that was heading toward the moon-like space station Fred mentioned. Amidst of the silence however, Bonnie burped, then covered his mouth and apologized to the others. "Oh gee... sorry for that. That pizza was too heavenly delicious..." He said, patting his belly. But everyone ignored him. Bonnie narrowed his eyes and his expression suddenly went blank...

...and he farted.

Everyone recoiled and groaned in response, covering their noses and trying to stay away from Bonnie as far as possible.

"Oh, sweet kraken's mother! That be the most horrendous smell ever!" Foxy complained, completely oblivious to his pirate accent, shutting his eyes tightly while rummaging through container underneath the seat. "Freddy, get the gas masks! This is worser than the smell of junks in Raxus Prime! Or Rancor's shit!"

"I can't find them! Where did you put it?!" Freddy shouted, frantically searching around the cockpit.

"Use the Force, my friend!" Fred said,

"Old man, how about you take that Force bullshit and shove it to the kid's ass?!" Foxy retorted, throwing all kinds of stuff from the container as he still looking for the gas masks that everyone needed.

While the group are struggling to find gas masks, cussing all the way and scolding Bonnie for the smell that's now spread to the whole cockpit, they didn't realized that the Death Star's tractor beam pulled them towards it, and into one of its many hangar. Bonnie were the only one that calm, and Fred... well, his face was red as a result from holding his breath for too long and taking an excessive use on the Force to calm himself down, subtly taking a series of deep breaths while meditating.

The Millennium Falcon slowly entered a hangar, with a Death Star crew acted as an aircraft director, waving his light stick to direct the old freighter to land. "C'mon, slowly... forward, forward..." The crew said, taking a few steps back and held his light stick in a motion for the Falcon to stop. "There, stop!"

But the ship kept moving forward... panicked, the crew flailed and waving his light stick in a desperate effort to signal the Falcon to stop. "Stop! I said stop!"

One series of agonizing crunches and the sound of groaning of metal later, some Stormtroopers on the hangar turned to look at the source of the sound. The front part of the the Millennium Falcon went through the steel wall and created a huge, deep dent. And the aircraft director was nowhere to be seen. The ship backed away a little from the wall and landed on the designated zone.

Meanwhile, Darth Springtrap appeared with an officer to check out on the ship, intending to find out if the Death Star plan is with the ship. While other officer (wearing a gasmask) exited the ship, and two other Storntroopers immediately fainted upon exiting, their unconscious body slid down the ship and onto the floor.

"There's no one on board sir. But it seems like the interior of the ship has been contaminated by a poisonous gas." The officer reported, opening his gaskmask. "It must be a decoy sir."

"Did you find any droids?" Springtrap asked.

"No sir."

"Send a scanning and sanitation crew on board. I want every part of this ship checked." The Dark Lord told the officer, "I sense something... a presence I've not felt since-"

"Aaaaah! It's leaking!" A Stormtrooper shouted as he spotted a green mist coming out from the Falcon's ramp, and began to spread to the hangar. Making everyone except Springtrap and several officers went panic and ran to every direction, some bumped to each other and for those who inhaled the gas immediately rendered unconscious by the horrendous smell.

Springtrap facepalmed, "You said this is the poisonous gas?" He asked, the officer nodded. "This smells like... _pizza,_ I knew this smell, whatever that produced this it must be came from a person. Get the sanitation crew on the double to get rid of this."

"Y-Yes my lord."

Springtrap then left, accompanied by several Stormtroopers and another officer.

In the meantime, several unconscious Stormtroopers laid on the floor, due to the fact the whole "poisonous gas" thing already spread to all over the Falcon's interior, and no one couldn't bear the smell for even a second before falling unconscious.

The portion of the floor suddenly opened, revealing Foxy and Bonnie underneath, each wearing gasmask. "Boy, it's lucky you have these compartments." Bonnie said as he stood up, followed by Foxy, and Fred in other compartment.

"I used them for smuggling. Never thought I'd be smuggling myself in 'em." Foxy replied, his blaster pistol ready as he looked around the ship. "This is ridiculous, even if I could take off, I'd never get past the tractor beam."

"Leave that to me." Fred piped up, grunting as he pushed himself out of the compartment.

"Damn fool, I knew that you were gonna said that." Foxy muttered, glancing at the entrance doorway.

In the meantime, two sanitation crews came to stop by at the Falcon's boarding ramp guarded by two other Stormtroopers, they unloaded the crates filled with various equipment and machines to clear out the gas, holding it by the handles fitted on opposite sides and carried them into the freighter. Before they could even start their work, however, some loud thuds and ruckus emanated from the Falcon.

*THUD!* *CRASH!* *CLANK!*

*Whirrr...* *FLOMP!* *RIIIPPP!*

"Gah! My underwear!"

The Stormtrooper duo meanwhile, dismissed it as the crew's sloppyness and went back to their assignment without a second thought.

"Hey down there! Could you give us a hand with this?" Foxy shouted, gaining the troop's attention as they made their way into the ship. Where Foxy _should've_ made a short work of the troopers by zapping them, but instead got relentlessly beaten along with Bonnie. The two Stormtroopers immediately exited the ship and headed off somewhere else.

"Ugh, you know... we could've stripped these guys' armors instead, right?" Bonnie said, rubbing his bruised face with his paw and pointed with other one at the two unconscious Stormtroopers laying motionlessly on the floor. "Why went for those guys earlier?"

Foxy chuckled nervously, "Eh, my bad kid... regardless, let's disguise ourselves and get to the control room. The sooner we get out of this, the sooner I can get my payment."

"Heh, you cheap ol' pirate..."

...

It wasn't just a minute after they put on the armor, Foxy already blasted his way through hallways like there was no tomorrow, not caring if the entire station was alerted by his presence, still, it was a miracle all of the troopers was oblivious to the ruckus he made. But, as his last name implies, he solo'd all the Stormtroopers and Officers, and took out every single Imperials in the hangar control room before they could even react. Hey, Foxy shoots first, what'cha gonna do about it?

After the room was cleared, Bonnie rushed into it and closed the door, removing his helmet and glared at the smuggler and his partner. "Between his howling," he gestuted to Freddy, "and you blasting everything in sight, it's a wonder the whole station doesn't know we're here!"

"Bring them on! I'd prefer a straight fight to all this sneakin' around." Foxy boasted, also removing his helmet.

While the two were busy bickering with each other, Artoo managed to find the computer terminal and interpret the whole Imperial network, making the precise location of the main controls of the tractor beam appeared on the screen, then pinpointed the nearest one to where they are. Then Threepio explained how a power loss at one of the tractor beam's coupling will allow the ship to escape. Because the author was too goddamn lazy to write the dialogues.

Fred nodded, smiling at the fox and bunny. "I don't think you boys can help, I must go alone."

Foxy snorted, giving the old bear a smug smile. "Whatever you say. I've done more than I bargained for in this trip already." The fox set down his blaster and took a seat on a nearby chair, reclining against it while resting his legs on a table.

"I want to go with you." Bonnie piped up, stopping Fred in his track.

"Be patience Bonnie, stay and watch over the droids. They must be delivered safely. Or other star systems will suffer the same fate as Dantooine." Fred explained, patting the bunny's arm. "Your destiny lies on a different path than mine." He pressed the button and the door behind them slid open, smiling warmly at Bonnie. "The Force will be with you always."

"But you can't leave me with these jackasses." The purple rabbit whined.

"I heard that kid." The two turned to Foxy's voice from the other side of the room, the smuggler captain was spinning the chair around to kill time and have some fun. "Not a single word can be missed by my ears."

Fred shook his head - still keeping the smile on his face, and took off to the hallway, with Bonnie closing the door behind him.

"That old man is going to get himself killed." Freddy remarked, putting his paws to his hips.

"You said it Freddy." Foxy agreed, getting up from his seat and leaned against the wall close to Freddy. "Where did you dig up that old fossil?"

"Fred is a great man." Bonnie replied, approaching the two.

"Yeah, great at getting us to trouble." The fox responded with a tint of sarcasm.

Bonnie scowled, "I didn't hear you give any ideas."

"Well, anything's better than just hangin' around waiting for 'em to pick us up."

"Who do you think-"

Their argument was cut when Artoo let out a series of excited bleeps and clicks, and Threepio immediately went to ask the astromech droid. "What is it?" Bonnie inquired.

"I'm afraid I'm not quite sure, sir. He says "I've found her" and keeps saying "she's here"." The protocol droid answered.

Bonne walked over the droids, "Well, who... who has he found?"

"Princess Chica."

Bonnie looked flabbergasted, "The princess? She's here?"

This seemed to attract Foxy's attention, "Princess?" He asked, getting interested in the topic. "What's going on?"

"Where? Where is she?"

Threepio looked at Artoo, who let out a few beeps as he went through the computer terminal. "Level 5, detention block AA-23." The protocol droid answered, then looked down when the astromech droid beeped again. "I'm afraid she's scheduled to be terminated."

Bonnie's eyes went wide. "Oh, no! We've gotta do something!"

Foxy blinked and tilted his head, the purple bunny more or less had an aneurysm about some princess he had never even heard of, Okay, back up a bit... Princess? The fuck you been smokin' man? This is a sci-fi fic, there ain't no Princess Chickpea or whatever her name is. All we need to do is get the tractor beam offline, get on my ship, and find out where we re supposed to go.

How do you know she s not down there? Look at the script!" Bonnie snatched Freddy's top hat and grabbed the script stored inside it, before shoving it to the smuggler's captain's face rather rudely. "It reads; "Foxy and Bonnie argue for a bit before deciding to go and rescue Princess Chica from the detention block"! So that means _she's real_ and she needs rescuing!

Foxy squinted his eyes as he read it, his muzzle practically glued to the paper as he did so, Shiver me timbers... the lad be right! Er... tch, this is gonna be a pain in the ass, I can just feel it already..."

Freddy meanwhile smirked and shook his head after putting the script back under his hat, That just might be indigestion from that pizza we had earlier, Foxy... Anyways, do we have a plan?

Bonnie flicked his ears and looked at Foxy, then Freddy, "So... are you two gonna help? I mean she s a princess, that means she s got looks, power... looks, money...looks, and... looks. Seriously dude, she s a fuckin babe."

"You kidding me?! The friggen detention block?! There s like... a million stormtroopers down there with 45 security systems and possibly this Darth SpringTron or whatever the heck that retarded rabbit name is! And why should we rescue this princess? Who s to say she not dimwitted, ugly, and over weight? Foxy growled, crossing his arms and half-glared at Bonnie.

"Well, she got money... and imagine how much you'll have when we rescue her..." Bonnie tried to convince, grinning mischievously.

"Wait, money? Well shit, c'mon Freddy, rescuing a princess might save my tail from Jabba!"

 **Meanwhile in the detention block**

...and that s the story of how I lost my half of my left ear, and the rest of my organic limbs. Gruesome, no? Darth Springtrap finished as he took a sip from his mug of coffee... with a straw through his mask, while leaning against the door frame of the cell that held Princess Chica. The Sith Lord grinning as Chica s face was a slight greenish in color when the cybernetic hare had included _all_ the nasty details, Ah... don't let it get to ya, I have yet to tell how the surgery went when I got put back to- that s odd... for some reason I want to Force choke a fox and jettison him out to space now...

Princess Chica recovered from her initial disgust with Darth Springtrap s **detailed** stories before blinking some, Huh, strange... cuz I personally want to rip the guy s balls off and shove them down his throat... weird, and please Springtrap, no more stories... this is a T rated fic after all."

Springtrap snapped his fingers, "Right, now would you excuse me... I think I have pressing matters to attend to, and by that I mean..." He set down his mug and whispered to the hen, "...my bladder has come to a full, heh, enjoy your stay!"

With that, the black armored hare exited the cell and winked back to Chica behind his mask, closing the door and finally left her alone once again. The princess sighed contently and laid on her hard, cold metal bunk, pulling out a magazine from under the bunk, "Finally, alone with myself... fuck everything in this station man."

 **Well dang... 4,200+ words for this chap, what can I say? I let you guys wait long enough, so here's what'cha got for the wait! And I'll try to get chap 7 up as soon as possible, escape from the Death Star!**

 **See ya in the next chap!**


	7. To The Rescue!

Okay... how long it has been? A month? Or less?...

I dunno, I was about to upload this last week, but finals got in the way and messed up my schedule to a full studying week, not a pleasant experience I assure you.

Ramblings aside, here's chapter 7! Hope you guys enjoy it!

"Alright, what's the plan?"

"Um..." Bonnie looked around the room, thinking of something that'll get them to the detention block without without raising suspicions from the Imperials. And what would two Stormtroopers do in detention block? Unless...

Eyeing a pair of hand binders on the table, the rabbit snapped his fingers and called Threepio over, "Threepio, hand me those binders, will you?"

The golden protocol droid complied and did what Bonnie asked to, "Okay, now I'm gonna put these on-" The rabbit went silent when finding Freddy was missing from his spot, leaving behind a metaphor blinking outline of his figure. He blinked, and looked around, "...uh, Freddy? The heck did he go?"

Everyone turned their heads when a toilet flushing sounded from one of the doors, the Wookie-bear exited the toilet room with a roll of newspaper clamped on his armpit. "Yeah? Did someone called me?"

"Is he always like this?" Bonnie inquired, swiveling his head to Foxy while pointing to Freddy, in which, the fox only shrugged as response. "Right, so... I'm gonna put these on ya, and then-"

The rabbit once again found himself silenced when he was slapped with the roll of newspaper, he vacantly stared at the unamused Freddy and handed the binders to Foxy, "O-Okay... Foxy, you... you put those on."

Foxy sighed and got up from his seat, snatching the hand binders from Bonnie, giving the rabbit an annoyed look before he began putting it on Freddy, "Don't worry Freddy, I think what he has in mind."

 **Later...**

Bonnie and Foxy - now disguised as Storntroopers, carried the cuffed Freddy with them through one of the many hallways of the Death Star. The Wookie-bear huffed annoyingly and tried to fix his top hat by tilting his head around, considering his paws are cuffed thanks to Bonnie's idea. "This is ridiculous, no one's gonna believe a well-mannered and behaved Wookie being taken to the detention block in a-"

*Crack!*

Wincing at the sound, Freddy lifted his foot and found himself crushed a mouse droid, "...aaaand, I crushed something... great." He kicked the remains of the tiny droid before the two continued their walk.

"Cut it out Freddy, imprisoned Wookies aren't supposed to talk." Foxy shushed, hefting his heavy blaster.

"Oh, right. Then what? Should I just do raaagh, urrgh... or aaargh, ruugh... oh, or maybe barking around?"

Bonnie facepalmed, sighing, "I hate you guys..."

It didn't took long for them to reach the nearest elevator, amidst of the bustling station, nobody was paying any kind of attention to the two, assuming the two looked like a normal Stormtrooper carrying a Wookie around with them. "I can't see a thing in this helmet." Bonnie complained as the two entered the elevator.

"No shit kid, I can't see anything either." Foxy agreed, motioning an officer to take the other elevator before they descended to the detention block.

In the meantime, Fred skillfully hid from a platoon of Stormtroopers, rolling around from one side of the wall to another with a spy-themed music playing in the background, passing an unaware Springtrap who was strolling around the hall.

The bear took a precaution by looking around, and used the opportunity to get to the nearest tractor beam power coupling when the cybernetic hare entered a room. He smirked and tiptoed out of his cover, rolling onto a doorway to avoid a passing officer as a resounding crash emanated from the room he entered. "...ugh, closet room... _great_."

...

"This is not gonna work." Foxy commented at Bonnie's plan, the purple bunny was busy loosening the binders on Freddy's wrists so he can do his part in the plan.

"Why didn't you say so before?" Bonnie asked, glaring at the fox through his helmet.

"I _did_ say so before."

The two blinked when the elevator door opened behind them, deciding the plan was final, the bunny and fox exited the elevator and met face to face with an officer standing behind a control panel.

"Where are you taking this... thing?" The officer asked, frowning.

"Uh, I... um..." Bonnie stuttered, but then blurted out what he has to say when Foxy nudged his rib, "Prisoner transfer from cell block 1138, sir!"

"I wasn't notified... I'll have to clear it." The officer then ordered a guard to take Freddy with him, the Wookie-bear meanwhile was struggling to pull his paws off the already loosened binders.

 _The fuck? How the hell it won't budge?!_ He thought while growling, when the guard grabbed him by his arm, he opted for using his cuffed paws to do the next part of the plan. _Oh, you do not just touch me!_

"Argh!" The Wookie-bear growled as he elbowed the guard on his face, momentarily dazed him and then grabbed the guard by the shirt before throwing him to the wall.

"Watch out! He's loose!" Foxy exclaimed as he took off the binders on Freddy's wrists and handed him the heavy blaster he carried.

"He'll tear us apart!" Bonnie fake panicked, the disguised duo first used the Stormtroopers' infamous ability to miss every shot, before they and Freddy began shooting the guards and the officer in the vicinity of the room, including every single security cameras and microphone in it.

Foxy pulled the dead officer body from the console, "We gotta find out which cell this princess of yours is in." The fox went to look something on the console, "Here it is - 2178. You'll go and get her, I'll hold them here."

Bonnie nodded in acknowledgement, and then took off to the aforementioned cell.

Foxy took his helmet off and set it aside, pressing a button on the beeping console to answer the incoming transmission, "Uh... Uh, we had a... slight weapons malfunction, but everything's fine here now, situation normal..." He spoke to the mic, "We're fine - We're fine here now, thank you. Um... How are you?" The fox smirked at his own word.

" _We're sending a squad up._ "

Foxy then went on full panic mode when he heard that, his eyes went wide and quickly answered it, "U-Uh... negative! We got uh... reactor leak over here! Give us a minute to lock it down! Large leak, very dangerous!" He lightly slammed his paw to the console emphasized his point.

" _What? Who is this? What's your operating number?_ "

"Uh..." Foxy took his blaster and shot the communication console, snorting and twirling the weapon around on his finger at the sight of the fried mic and console. "Boring conversation anyway... Bonnie! We're gonna have company!"

Bonnie looked back when he was halfway down the hallway of the cell blocks, the rabbit frantically searched for Chica's cell. When he found it, he wasted no time to open it and entered the cell, the princess was laying on the flat bunk with a magazine on her face, one arm and leg dangling on the side of the bunk and snoring rather loudly. She looked like someone who dozed off from reading something, and... well, for a princess, this was quite an awkward sight.

The hen was awaken when Bonnie tripped on his own foot and made metallic clanging when he rolled down the stairs and into the cell floor, Chica's snores abruptly stopped, she pulled the magazine off her face and sat down on the bunk, squinting her eyes at the sight of a rather short Stormtrooper. "Aren't you a little too short for Stormtrooper?"

"Huh? Oh, the uniform..." Bonnie said to himself, removing the helmet to show his face to Chica, "I'm Bonnie Skywalker, I'm here to rescue you."

The princess frowned, "You're who?"

"I'm here to rescue you, I've got your R2 unit, and Fred Kenobi is here too!"

Chica held her hand up to stop the rabbit's rambling, "Whoah, whoah... hold on. What did you just drink man? I didn't send anyone here to rescue me, let alone with Fred or that buckets of bolts!... And, who gave you the rights to touch my hand?..."

The two looked down and saw Bonnie's paw had wrapped itself around Chica's hand, the rabbit groaned and rolled his eyes, "Just come with me, and we'll get you out of this death ball and to Rebel Alliance."

The princess pursed her lips and shrugged as Bonnie pulled her with him, "Alright... you convinced me, but try to do anything on me or _flirt_... I will personally shoot you with the station's super laser on my own."

"Tch, you sound sassier than you looked, I thought you were mannered and shit..."

Meanwhile, the smuggler duo went on full alert when the elevator door was blasted open, and Stormtroopers started to pour into the block. "Get behind me!" Foxy shouted, shooting a Stormtrooper in the crotch.

"Gah! Not again!" FP-690 exclaimed when his balls were shot again, he clutched his crotch before he fell unconscious on the doorway, blocking his fellow troopers way to engage Foxy and Freddy. The two ran through the hallway and stumbled across the princess and farmboy.

"Can't get out that way." Foxy stated.

"Looks like you managed to cut our only escape route." Chica said sarcastically, crossing her arms when the fox glared down at her.

"Maybe you'd like it back in your cell, Your Highness."

Their argument was cut short when a blaster bolt barely missed them, the group then pressed themselves against the wall and found their makeshift cover. "Threepio, Threepio!" Bonnie shouted to his comlink.

" _Yes sir?_ " Came the droid's voice.

"Is there any other ways around the cell bay? We've been cut off!"

The firefight however prevented Bonnie from hearing anything from the comlink, "Huh? What's that? I didn't copy!"

" _I said all systems have been alerted to your presence, sir. The main entrance seems to be the only way in or out. All other information on your level is restricted... *Thump* *Thump* ...Oh, no._ "

Bonnie huffed and put his comlink away, "There isn't any other way out!"

Foxy shot a Stormtrooper in the chest, "I can't hold them off forever! Now what?!" He said, turning to Bonnie and Chica.

"This is some rescue! You came in here, and you didn't have a plan for getting out?!" Chica complained, glaring daggers at the fox.

"He's the brains, sweetheart!"

"Well, I didn't-" Before Bonnie could say more, Chica grabbed his blaster and shot a chute gate open.

Confused, the smuggler captain looked at the chute gate. "What in bloody hell are you doing?"

The princess smirked, "Somebody has to save our skins." She fired off a few bolts to the Stormtroopers to distract them, before tossing the blaster back to Bonnie. "Into the garbage chute, flyboy!"

The hen the slid down the chute, while the fox and rabbit held the Stormtroopers off. Freddy took a gander at the chute, wrinkling his nose at the smell. "Oh, fuck me... it smells like your underwear Foxy."

Foxy groaned, "Get in there you big furry oaf! I don't care what you smell!" He yelled before kicking the Wookie-bear into the chute, "Wonderful girl! Either I'm gonna kill her, or beginning to like her!"

"Trust me, you'd want to shove your blaster to her beak, she can get real sassy..." Bonnie replied, jumping into the chute.

"Mrf... right." Foxy bent down to the height of the chute, looking away in disgust when the stench assaulted his nose. "Blimey, smells like Neptune's rotten beard thar'... Ugh, screw it!" The fox wasted no time in jumping into the chute, exclaiming as he do. "Yee-ha!"

Inside the trash compactor, Bonnie and Chica dusted themselves off from dirt and grime that was stuck to their clothes, they both froze when they heard a yelling above them. "Oh, shit-"

"Ah!" Foxy yelped as he landed on both Bonnie and Chica, splashing some water as well some pieces of junks around, he laughed to himself, "Who's ready for round..." He looked down at the angry looking bunny and hen, smiling nervously. "...2?"

Both Bonnie and Chica shoved the fox off from them, getting to their feet as Foxy did the same, "Ugh, the garbage chute was a wonderful idea! What an incredible smell you've discovered!" The fox wobbled a little and accidentally pressed the trigger on his blaster.

"Wait! Don't shoo-"

*PEW!*

Everyone ducked when the red blaster bolt hit the wall and started to bounce off in every direction, "Waaagh!" Bonnie yelped as the bolt hit him on his butt, making the bunny's eyeballs metaphorically shot out from his sockets. "Look, I tried it already, it's magnetically sealed, okay?!" He told the smuggler captain, rubbing his smoking butt where the bolt hit him.

"Put that thing away! You're gonna get us all killed!" Chica yelled.

Foxy didn't looked intimidated, "Absolutely, Your Worship! I got everything under control 'till you led us down here!"

"Under control my ass..." Freddy muttered, then yelped when Foxy chucked a piece of junk to his direction.

"Wait, did you hear that?" Bonnie said, halting the heated argument when he heard a low growl from the waters. "I think there's something alive in here..."

"Tell that to them!" Chica exclaimed, pointing to the direction where two squid like monsters with top hats were sitting on chairs that faced the fireplace while sipping their cups of tea and chatting like gentlemen does.

"...did you know that season 3 of "I'm Your Mother" will start in a week Jack?" One of the squid monster asked.

"Ah, a fine drama. I look forward to see it soon!" The other one answered, sipping his tea. "But don't forget to come to Sparky's cocktail party tonight- oh wait, I heard it was cancelled because that dim-witted hare destroyed Dantooine."

The two chuckled and set down their tea, the foursome group blinked and shrugged to each other in confusion. "Alright, that's weird..." Foxy stated, making the two squid monsters snapped their heads to their direction and looked at each other in panic.

"What the fu... Jericho, quick! Get into monster mode!" The squid monster by the name of Jack said, the two threw their hats aside and dove into the water, setting panics into the group.

"Agh! Nooo!" Bonnie screamed as tentacles wrapped around his legs and pulled him to the water.

Foxy frowned, scratching his head some. "Does that kid always took the bad luck every time?" He asked to nobody in particular, Chica just shrugged.

The rabbit resurfaced after a while, wrestling with the long tentacles that wrapped around his body, "Man, I felt like Steve Irwin right-" His words was cut off when the monster pulled him back to the water, his series of gurgle and punches stopped when a thump noise was heard. Bonnie resurfaced again and gasped for air, pushing his ears off from his eyes, "What the?... I was enjoy fighting it and then it just let me go."

Everyone looked up as the walls produced a thumping noise constantly, "I got a bad feeling about this..." Foxy said to himself. The walls creaked, and clanking, then it start moving...

"It's moving guys!" Freddy stated.

"Try to brace it with something!" Chica exclaimed, struggling to pull up a large metal rod between the junks. "Help me Mr. Doucheface!"

"I have a name y'know!" Foxy replied as he went to help the hen. While Freddy was busy trying to find a way to open the door... by banging on it.

"Wait a minute!" Bonnie fumbled around his utility belt, pulling out his comlink that was magically still dry after the wrestling in the water. "Threepio? Threepio! Come in Threepio!"

" _Are you there sir? Uh, we had some problems earlier-_ "

"Will you shut up and listen to me?! Shut down all the garbage masher on the detention level!"

...

" _Shut all the garbage masher on the detention level!_ "

Threepio looked around, flailing his mechanical arms a little. "Uh, I don't know... Just shut them all down!"

Artoo beeped in affirmative, and began accessing the trash compactor controls through the console.

...

Just as the group were about to get thinned, the walls suddenly halted and stopped moving, Bonnie opened his eyes to find himself and the others in one piece, feeling extremely glad that everyone was still alive. "Hahah! You did it Threepio! You did it! Yee-ha!"

 **Meanwhile, in the mess hall...**

After finishing his meal, Springtrap took his plate to a nearby trash shredder and dumped the bits of leftover food into the hole. He flicked his fingers on the switch to turn on the shredder, but nothing happened. The hare tried again, thinking that he might turned it off instead... but after a while, the Sith Lord got agitated and started flicking the switch on and off repeatedly.

Springtrap sighed and hung his head low in annoyance, before turning his head around, "Alright, which one of you broke the shredder again?!" He boomed, halting the activities inside the mess hall as the Stormtroopers and officers swiveled their heads to stare at him. They looked each other and shrugged, Springtrap sighed again, this time facepalming.

"Now I gotta- ugh!" He yelped when a pain shot through his stomach, the hare clutched his abdomen part and reached his paw to the bathroom door. "Ugh... bathroom... break..."

...

In the meantime, after disabling one of the power coupling, Fred casually walked on the hallway, brushing past the unaware officers and went on a path that has no to little people in it. The bear chuckled on his own thought, these guys are just plain idiots, they were busy chatting and looking at their holopad, or in hurry to notice anything. But he was lucky that he hadn't encountered a Stormtrooper yet. Except for the ones that walked passed him when he was turning off the power coupling.

He stopped in his tracks when the bathroom door was kicked open, and a very angry looking Springtrap stepped out with a paper tower stuck on his boot. "Next time, consider your job done cleaning those toilets when you've tried _flushing_ it!" He yelled, mostly to the janitor inside.

"Y-Yes, my lord..." A timid voice spoke from the bathroom.

"Good, unless if you want to end up with your neck snapped, I expect it to be done in an hour." The cyborg hare sternly stated, dusting his gloved paws and looked around, frowning from behind his mask at the eerie silence of the hallway - save for his mechanical breathing, he felt a presence he had never felt for years since the fateful duel that forced him to wear the damn suit for the rest of his life.

"Why, isn't this Gold-" He paused and tilted his head when he found nobody was there, Springtrap huffed in annoyance and put his paws to his hips. "...I know you're there old coot, now get out before I drag you out myself."

Fred smirked and stepped out of his hiding place, lightsaber grasped firmly on his one paw, the old bear finally came face-to-face with the infamous (yet somewhat dimwitted) Sith Lord.

"We meet again at last Goldie-Wan. But first, don't get cliche over that word, because it will be the time I will defeat you at last." Springtrap smugly greeted, igniting his red lightsaber with the familiar _snap-hiss_ sound that filled the silence between them. "I was only a learner that time, but now _I_ am the Master."

"Only the master of evil Darth... and idiocy." Fred chuckled silently at the cyborg hare's expression at his word... well, technically he couldn't, but whatever Springtrap hid under that mask, he could still sense agitation coming out from the Sith Lord.

"I ain't falling for that again Kenobi, my patience has grown stronger, and so as my power." Springtrap raised his blade in battle stance, "I may not be able to protect my limbs... but I'm sure as hell can take a vengeance for them."

"As you wish." Fred turned on his blue lightsaber, the opposite to Springtrap's, before giving a polite duel bow. "Let the duel commence then."

With that, the two swung their lightsabers at each other, blue and red blade clashed.


	8. The Best Escape Ever!

**Moments later...**

After sucessfully exited the damned trash compactor, our heroes were drying their soggy (yet smelly) self while getting dressed back to their normal outfit, leaving behind the crappy Stormtrooper armor, but still keeping the utility belts.

"If we can just avoid any female advice, we ought to be able to get out of here." Foxy muttered, handing Bonnie his blaster back and shot Chica a look.

"Well, let's get moving." Bonnie said, ruffling his fur to dry it and fitted his utility belt, before dropping his blaster when Freddy suddenly brushed past him, accidentally nudging his shoulder.

"Where you goin'?" Foxy inquired, looking back at the trash compactor and saw the monster's eye poking out from one of the piles. "Nah..."

"No, wait! She'll hear!" Chica yelled, but to no avail as Foxy already had his blaster aimed.

*PEW!*

Not even sparing a second glance, the smuggler fox shot the monster and killed it, turning to face his co-pilot who's hiding near some pile of boxes and ignored Chica's complaint. "Come here you big coward, Freddy come here." Foxy said, only for the Wookie-bear to shook his head. "There ain't nothing to be afraid of."

"Um, you think that wasn't supposed to be afraid of?" Bonnie tapped his shoulder, pointing at the larger monster (with makeup and eyelashes) appeared from the water, shock filled its eyes as it looked at the smaller, dead monster.

" _MAH BABEH!_ "

Before it could unleash its rage at Foxy, Chica already took a step ahead by closing the thick metallic door, preventing the monster from escaping. Foxy and Bonnie breathed in relief, but not for the hen, as she was crossing her arms and tapped her foot repeatedly.

"Listen, I don't know who you are or where you come from, but from now on, you do as I tell you, okay?" She deadpanned, then gently brushed past Foxy as the cocky captain looked at Bonnie in confusion and anger - who in return, grinned and shrugged back at him.

"Look, Your Worshipfulness. Let's get one thing straight. I take orders just from one person - me!" Foxy stated, pointing at himself as the group followed the Princess.

"And no one gives a fuck about it." Chica countered, then shouted; "Hey, look! This guy only take orders from himself!"

A group of Stormtroopers that was passing by at the distance looked at them, shrugging, and continued their patrolling.

"See? Nobody cares. And will somebody get this big walking carpet out of my way?" Chica said, pushing the much taller Freddy aside and fastened her pace.

"Gee, so much for a princess, eh?" Bonnie nudged the fox's arm, who ignored him and continue following the hen.

"No reward is worth this."

...

"There she is." Foxy uttered as he looked out a window, his Falcon (or his "baby") was still unharmed, the old, battered ship was parked at the hangar just below their location, with a few Stormtroopers guarding it. While Bonnie contacted Threepio, Chica took a gander at the ship and resisted the temptation to laugh her belly off.

"You came in that thing?" She mockingly asked, slightly tugging Foxy's shirt sleeve, "You're braver than I thought."

The captain rolled his eyes in response, "Nice, come on." He said as the group went together to the hangar, completely oblivious to the dangers ahead of them...

It was only a moment after they went off to the hangar when they stumbled across a Stormtrooper group patrol.

"It's them! Blast them!" The leader shouted, shortly before one of his men were shot by Foxy and decided to retreat instead of shooting the others because of... logic?

"Get back to the ship! I'll have fun blasting these bucketheads first!" Foxy exclaimed, going after the Stormtroopers as Freddy followed closely behind him.

"Where are you going?! Come back!" Bonnie said, but proven useless as Foxy and his partner was too busy chasing down the troopers on the hallway.

"He certainly has courage." Chica stated.

"What good will it do to us if he gets himself killed?" Bonnie huffed, then took the Princess' hand and dragged her along with him to the opposite direction where Foxy went. "Come on, let's find another way out."

Meanwhile, Foxy was still chasing the Stormtrooper, whilst letting out a battle cry along the way.

"Aaaaaaaaaaaaaa..." He shouted, acting as if he was chasing his fleeing prey, completely oblivious that they were leading him to the _wrong_ hangar. The fox halted his steps immediately and let out a yelp of surprise when he found out several battalions of Stormtroopers were lined up in the hangar, along with some officers on the higher floor - all eyes are on him almost instantly when they heard his shouting, and readied their blasters at aiming stance.

"GAH!" Foxy managed to shot a Stormtrooper from the group he was chasing, and now it was his turn to flee. Some would say he was lucky to avoid the barrage of blaster bolts fired at him - but due to the fact that Stormtroopers are terrible at shooting their target, he didn't even need an effort to dodge those bolts because they will _obviously_ going to miss him.

"Go back! Go back!" He half-shouted to Freddy as the Stormtroopers began chasing him and Freddy down and initiating a hot pursuit between them and the troopers.

As for Bonnie and Chica, as the current level were alerted thanks to Foxy, several Stormtroopers began chasing them as well, they turned and ran, until they accidentally stumbled across a room they supposed to not walk into...

The room had a large pool where several suitless Stormtroopers are swimming (and due to the protocol saying that they couldn't remove their helmet, they were forced to wear them all the time), and large numbers of Beach Troopers (the ones without armor) are relaxing under the artificial sunlight, tanning their skin, some are on the bar, drinking and laughing at each other, even some weird Hawaiian music were playing in the background... and all the activities stopped when everyone turned their attention to the farmboy and princess, whom just stood there... motionless at the sight.

Bonnie waved his hand nervously, "Oh... He-Hey! How's it going guys?... Me and the Princess here are just taking a stroll around the station and we're uh... kinda lost! Heheh..." He slowly backed out from the room with Chica, while every single pair of eyes are on him, the Beach Troopers looked like they were about to pull out their blasters and shoot them in any second. "So, uh... we better get out of here now! U-Uh... enjoy your time! L-Long live the Emperor... heh..."

With that, the door closed and the two are back outside... but they haven't lost the troopers that were chasing them before. So they ran again, but this time, ended up overlooking an endless chasm below.

"Whoops!" Bonnie struggled to maintain his balance on the edge of the floor, and thankfully, Chica was in time to pull him away from the chasm before he could fall. "Looks like we took the wrong turn." He said to himself, looking down at the chasm that seemed to go on for miles.

Chica jumped in surprise when the Stormtroopers on their back started shooting at them again, she acted quickly by closing the door by using the control panel at her side, separating them from the troopers. But she realized that they can just open the door from the other side. "There's no lock!" She said in panic.

Realizing no other option, Bonnie shot the control panel Chica previously used. Breaking it to the point where it's completely useless. "That oughta hold them off for a while."

"Quick! We've got to get across! Find the controls that extend the bridge!" She half-commanded, but Bonnie mournfully looked at the control panel he just shot.

"I think I just blasted it..."

"They're coming through!"

The bunny looked over the ceiling, then his utility belt, an idea crossed his mind when he pulled out a grappling hook out of one of the pockets.

"Look out!"

He immediately ducked when he heard the warning, a blaster bolt barely missed him - coming from the Stormtrooper from the upper platform, and he quickly joined by his comrades shortly in an effort to gun Bonnie and Chica down. He retaliated by shooting them back a few times, in which, he succeeded landed a shot on one of them... FP-690 to be exact.

"Agh... I'm starting to hate this job..." He moaned, clutching his crotch as his balls are yet again, shot by Bonnie for the third time, and slumped to the floor with a thump.

"Here, hold this." Bonnie handed the blaster to Chica, who in turn, used it to give suppressing fire at the rest of the Stormtroopers to prevent them from popping out from their cover and shoot them again. The bunny pulled out the rest of the hook and swung it at the ceiling, which magically got itself wrapped around a metal bar and the hook gripped it firmly. The two held each other tightly and Chica gave a gentle peck on the young rabbit's cheek.

"For luck."

Nodding as a response, the duo farmboy and princess swung across the chasm, with the Stormtroopers shooting at them from behind (which unsurprisingly missed every shot).

But they were going too high...

"Too high! Too high!"

"Aaaaa-"

*Thud!*

With the excessive force applied to their jump, the two went up higher than their thought and resulting in their forehead to make contact with the upper doorway, doing backflip in mid air, and face planted to the metallic floor underneath. When the two seemingly knocked out, Chica lifted her head and shook it, revealing that her beak somehow caved the floor in (due to the nature of the main character being near impervious to any damage they sustained, unless if the author decided to kill them off).

"That... was... awesome! Can we do that again?" Bonnie asked, lifting his head and faced Chica with a goofy grin on his face.

Some blaster bolts whizzed past them.

"No time, let's go." Chica replied as she got to her feet, Bonnie followed suit.

"Right."

...

"Nice trick, should we do that too?" Shab asked his partner just after the duo did their little stunt, while other Stormtroopers dispersed to find another way across, our duo troublemakers decided to stay and thought about doing the same.

"Nah, I dunno... too risky." Shaf responded, rubbing the back of his helmet. "You sure you wanna try it? I don't think a single grappling hook can support us both."

"Guess only one way to find out." The dark furred rabbit took out his grappling hook and did the same as Bonnie a few moments ago. Tugging the string to make sure it was not loose. "You're in?" He stretched his hand out to Shaf, grinning underneath his helmet.

"Yeah, sure." Shaf took his partner's hand, swinging across the chasm with Shaf - but of course - like Bonnie and Chica, they went up too high.

"Whoah! Too high! We're gonna-"

*Bang!*

They hit the wall harder than they thought, creating a dent that shaped exactly like their current pose. And instead of sliding down, the two was "peeled" off from the dent and plunged to the chasm below.

"Aaaaa-"

*Thud!*

Shab and Shaf suddenly landed on the floor... painted to look like an endless chasm, because the Empire was too _cheap_ to make such structure on the Death Star. And it would endanger the sloppy and careless Stormtroopers and officers aboard the station as well, so what's the point of making it?

"Hey, what the heck?" Shab knocked the floor a few times, ticked off at his and Shaf's new discovery. "This isn't a chasm, they painted the floor to _look_ like one!"

"Nah forget it, we won't be able to catch them anyway. It's not worth our salary." Shaf waved the rabbit off, the bear sat and rubbed the back of his neck that's throbbing a little.

After a few minutes of silence and reflecting on the moment, Shab finally spoke up; "Wanna go to McEmperor's and have some burgers and fries?"

"Sounds good." Shaf got to his feet and flexed his shoulder, "I felt like we shouldn't be in this station any longer now, c'mon, drinks are on me."

"Sweet!"

The two exited through a door as if nothing ever happened.

...

After running for a short while, Foxy and Freddy finally lost the Stormtroopers on their back. The smuggler duo panted and leaned against the wall at their side to catch their breath, while examining the hangar where the Millennium Falcon was held. Foxy was very glad that none of the bucketheads messed with his "baby"... at least from the outside.

Bonnie and Chica soon joined the duo, as equally as tired as the two, and took their hiding spot next to them. "What kept you?" Foxy asked.

"We... uh, ran to some old friends." Chica reasoned, peeking behind the taller fox.

Now it was Bonnie's turn to ask; "The ship alright?"

"It seems okay, if we can get to it. I just hope the old man got the tractor beam out of commission."

Meanwhile, Fred was still dueling with Springtrap. Their sabers struck at each other and spit out bits of sparks everywhere. While the old bear was already overpowered by the cyborg hare, he relies on dogding heavy strikes and parrying. Due to their old age, they weren't as agile and fast as they are during their younger days. So the fight seemed to be rather... slow, and bland due to the lack of rapid moves or techniques of their old fighting style... Just some series of striking, blocking, thrusting, and parrying - repeat.

And no more than 5 minutes, the former Master and Apprentice was panting in severe exhaustion. Agreeing on a minute timeout, Fred decided to have a little talk with the Dark Lord. "You can't win... Darth. If you strike me down... I shall become... more powerful... than you could possibly imagine." He panted, then sighed as he bent down to rub his sore knees. "Phew... been a long time since I do such thing like this, I'm too old for anything."

"Quit complaining old man, time to meet your destiny." As soon as Springtrap said that. Fred felt the Force screaming at him at the impending danger, and turns out it was right. Just a few inches before the red lightsaber cut him in half, he reactivated his blue lightsaber and blocked in. Engaging Springtrap in yet, another tiring duel.

This however (and luckily), attracted the attention of the nearby Storntroopers, instead of guarding the Falcon's boarding ramp, they decided to watch the ongoing duel between their Dark Lord and old Jedi not far from where they are. Giving the foursome a chance to get to Foxy's ship.

"Look!" Bonnie exclaimed.

"Now's our chance, go!" Foxy told the others, they exited their cover and made a beeline to the ship. But Bonnie tripped on the doorway in the process, and flopped to the floor. This made him to saw the duel between Fred and Springtrap, in the distance. And when he got to his feet, instead of going straight to the ship, he went to get a closer look while ignoring the others' shouting to get aboard the Falcon immediately.

Seeing this, Fred paused his duel and looked at the Bonnie - who had worried look in his face. He gave the young rabbit a wink before deactivating his lightsaber, flashing a grin at the Dark Lord before him.

"Oh, that's it then? I'm gonna enjoy cutting you into a giant _California Roll!_ " Springtrap couldn't contain his excitement, the thought of slaying his former Master was a quite enjoyable one for him. So he did a horizontal slash on Fred, hoping to see the old bear's body split in two. But what he got was a suprising, yet disappointing one. Instead of being harmed physically, Fred's body immediately disappear when Springtrap's lightsaber cut through him, leaving behind his robe and lightsaber.

And at last, the old bear is one with the Force.

"Noo!" Bonnie shouted, gaining the attention of the Stormtroopers who was watching the awfully boring duel. And in a fit of rage, he targeted the Sith Lord and start shooting a flurry of blaster bolts. Instead of hitting Springtrap, he killed the Stormtroopers who was dumb enough to charge forward.

"Come on!" Chica shouted, hoping to get his attention. "Bonnie, it's too late!"

Still in utter disbelief and shock, Bonnie ignored the Princess' plea.

"Blast the door, kid!" Foxy told him - and with superb aiming, the rabbit blasted the door's control panel in one shot. Preventing Springtrap and the rest of the Stormtroopers from reaching them.

 _Run, Bonnie... run!_

Hearing his unofficial Master's voice through his head, Bonnie ended his killing spree and immediately took off as fast as he could to board the Millennium Falcon with the rest of the others.

Once in the cockpit, Foxy and Freddy took their respective seats and started up the old freighter's engine. "I hope that old man got the tractor beam out of commission, or this is gonna be a real short trip." He said to himself, "Okay, hit it!" He commanded Freddy, the Falcon took off and blasted its way out of the Death Star's hangar. Leaving the dreaded station once and for all.

...

After a dealing with several TIE Fighters that were pursuing them (and getting Threepio untangled from the mass of wires sustained from the battle damage), Bonnie sat on the passenger seat, leaning his chin on the Dejarik table while mourning about his loss of Fred.

Chica came in shortly, wrapping a blanket around his back to comfort him. "I can't believe he's gone..." He mumbled, tapping his fingers on the table.

"Oh yeah? And I just lost billions of Alderaanians when that half-witted cyborg and asshole Sparky decided to fire on my home planet to "demonstrate the power of the station" when they already did on Dantooine! And I don't give too much shit about it!" The Princess retorted, and then left the rabbit to mourn himself. "Ugh! You're such an obnoxious, crybaby!"

Bonnie face planted to the table, and start weeping in silence. "But I still can't believe he's gone..."

Back at the Death Star...

Sparky watched as the Millennium Falcon made a jump to hyperspace after they eleminated the TIE Fighters, the ease of their escape was part of his plan. And they will soon lead him to the Rebel base... he already foreseen the end of the Rebellion before his eyes, receiving a medal of honor from the Emperor, and-

"They've made a jump to Hyperspace. And I have secured the homing beacon on their ship." Springtrap's statement snapped the Grand Moff out of his muse, the dog can only frown as the Sith Lord put his hands to his hips in accomplishment.

"I'm taking an awful risk, Lord Springtrap. This had better work." Sparky replied, putting his hands behind his back as he continued staring off into the void of space.

Moments of silence later, Springtrap used the time to read all of the Moff's thoughts... and he was queasy about something. Clearly, the dog was somehow (and secretly) pissed at him for something.

"Still thinking about Dantooine?" He inquired, having enough of the silence. "I can sense your thoughts..."

It irked Sparky even more than he is now, with that being said, he spun himself around and faced the cyborg hare with a very annoyed face.

"Yes, because of you, I lost all the chicks I can enjoy! Because of you, I lost the mansion I've been building for months! Because of you, you ruined my cocktail party! Because of you, I lost my 4 hectares of garden that I've spent landscaping for 4 years! And do you know how much did I pay for a _single_ gardener to take care of-"

Springtrap yawned, tapping his triangle shaped air filter and stretched his other arm to imitate a tired person. "Done yet? Because I thought you're gonna sing _"Because Of You"_ anytime soon. And everyone here knows you're the best singer in the whole Empire."

Irritated for the final time, Sparky shoved the Dark Lord aside and left without saying any word. Leaving Springtrap at the observation room alone. "Gee, what a dope..."

 **Sorry it's short, been busy for a few weeks and barely got time to write. So, um... leave a review, and I'll see you in the next chapter. And uh, I'm not good with action scene, so expect some short paragraphs soon... I think x.x**


End file.
